There's a reason that the British are obsessed with owning property. It's because being a tenant hasn't changed much since feudal times.
In the eyes of many landlords, renters are no more than common peasants, preordained to live in squalor by virtue of their birth.
That can be the only explanation for the way I, and my friends, have been treated over the years.
If this isn't true, landlords would find it morally unacceptable to charge people disproportionately large sums of money to live in inadequately insulated, poorly ventilated and shoddily maintained property. Wouldn't they?
Negligent, entitled and lazy property-owners have systematically degraded our renting class for decades. But fear not, my comrades. We can fight back.
Here are some of my favourite examples, from my own life, to get you in the fighting spirit.
A five-minute email session with my mates, who have now mostly earned, borrowed and begged their way out of serfdom, brought back vivid painful memories for us all.
"We had a landlord when I first moved to London who would come around unannounced regularly," said one close friend.
"We'd be treated to tales of his terrible waterworks problems, any cigarettes left out were fair game to him - he'd just help himself, but usually it was rolling tobacco that he wanted. Or our weed.
"We did say, several times, that he needed to give us permission and he couldn't just let himself him. He laughed it off saying it was his house that he used to live in and he missed it."
Another friend taking a stroll down memory lane remembered when a rental agent refused to get the cracks in her windows fixed, saying it 'wasn't possible'. Despite the fact that large blocks of ice had formed on the inside.
And just recently, my best friend had the joy to discover that it rained indoors in her brand-new, purpose-built flat, due to shoddy construction.
Perhaps it didn't matter to them that the ceiling might leak. After, it was built for renters.
I'm sorry if I'm scaring you with this blog, but being a renter is a soul-destroying business. So it's better to arm yourself with a keen sense of self-preservation, a grim sense of humour, and a strict list of questions before heading on into the fray.
You could start with these...
9 Things You Should Ask When Renting A Flat
Do The Appliances Work?(01 of09)
Open Image ModalDon't assume any appliances work. Just because they are present doesn't mean they are functional, so test them all before you sign anything.Once you've handed over the money the agents/owners have no incentive to get them fixed or replaced in a timely fashion, if at all. My friend once moved into a place only to find the dishwasher, range hood, tumble drier and most of the lights didn't work! (credit:Caspar Benson via Getty Images)
Who Else Has Keys To This Property?(02 of09)
Open Image ModalIf this is to be your home, then it shouldn't also be a storage/hang-out joint for extended friends and family. Find out if anyone else thinks they are allowed to pop round. (credit:Miodrag Gajic via Getty Images)
What Is An Average Heating Bill In Winter?(03 of09)
Open Image ModalRented accommodation is notoriously badly insulated. Try and work out what the temperature's going to be like in winter, and whether the house and its heating system is up to the job. (credit:Andrew Bret Wallis via Getty Images)
Have You Ever Had Trouble With The Neighbours?(04 of09)
Open Image ModalAsk about the property's history. Have previous tenants reported problems? Ask the current tenants. Sometimes it's a very good idea to go round at time when someone's likely to be in! (credit:Wavebreakmedia Ltd via Getty Images)
Is My Deposit Protected?(05 of09)
Open Image ModalYour deposit should go to a safe place so your landlord can't withhold it on a whim, according to law. Make 100 per cent that's going to happen. (credit:altrendo images via Getty Images)
Will The Damp Problem Be Fixed?(06 of09)
Open Image ModalIf you don't get an agreement to fix one of the most common problems for renters (in writing) you will be breathe damp, mouldy for the rest of your tenancy agreement. And find out how it will be fixed. Painting over mould seldom encourages the spores to die, as I can bear witness. (credit:Hemera Technologies via Getty Images)
Who Is Responsible For The Garden?(07 of09)
Open Image ModalAll too often outside spaces of a rental problem will get neglected -for obvious reasons. Find out what will happen if you return the outdoors looking anything less than immaculate. (credit:Peter Dazeley via Getty Images)
Can I Have A Copy Of The Inventory?(08 of09)
Open Image ModalThe inventory is your opportunity to note down every scuff, tear and fixture in your lovely, soon-to-be home.Make sure you do a thorough job, get it signed and keep your copy safe. It will protect you for random accusations at the end, when it all turns nasty, and the landlord asks you why you felt the need to sit on the sofa, causing undue wear and tear. (credit:scyther5 via Getty Images)
How Can I Get In Touch With The Landlord?(09 of09)
Open Image ModalTry and strike up a friendly relationships with your landlord early on. It's usually best to cut the the estate agent out of the equation as quickly as possible after moving in, if you want swift problem resolution in the future.Invite them round, make the house smell of fresh bread and encourage them to like you. (credit:Geber86 via Getty Images)