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When you’re dining alone, there’s nothing quite like a bit of people watching.
And when Kelly Fine sat near a couple in a restaurant recently, she really struck gold.
The pair appeared to be on a truly terrible date, so Fine did the only logical thing.
She live tweeted the entire encounter for her own (and others’) amusement.
The date became awkward early on when the man revealed his aversion to menus.
Then he was just plain rude.
The lack of menu continued to be an issue.
And the man persisted in being an utter douchebag.
He even chewed his edamame skin!
Dessert time soon came around and Fine had one question.
The couple had a rollercoaster conversation.
Fine discovered the man’s name was “Tony”.
And just as Fine was getting to know the pair, it was all over. Phew.
Awful Celebrity First Dates
Kim Cattrall (01 of12)
WHO: Actress Kim Cattrall
DATE: "I went out with an actor who said he'd come to see me in the play I was in and then we'd go out afterward for a drink or dinner. Then he called to downgrade it to nothing after, just him coming to my performance. He showed up at intermission."
Kim Cattrall attends the Broadway opening night of 'Seminar' at The Golden Theatre. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "I went out with an actor who said he'd come to see me in the play I was in and then we'd go out afterward for a drink or dinner. Then he called to downgrade it to nothing after, just him coming to my performance. He showed up at intermission."
Kim Cattrall attends the Broadway opening night of 'Seminar' at The Golden Theatre. (credit:Getty)
Michael Kors (02 of12)
WHO: Fashion designer Michael Kors
DATE: "In my twenties, I went to meet my date at a really chic, fashionable restaurant. I wasn't dressed up necessarily, but I had one a nice shirt and jeans. My date showed up in cutoffs and a tank top. I knew half the people in the restaurant, who were all looking at me like 'Who is this guy with Michael Kors?' It was so embarrassing. My tip: Always have your first date at a casual place."
Designer Michael Kors attends the 2012 Human Rights Campaign Gala. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "In my twenties, I went to meet my date at a really chic, fashionable restaurant. I wasn't dressed up necessarily, but I had one a nice shirt and jeans. My date showed up in cutoffs and a tank top. I knew half the people in the restaurant, who were all looking at me like 'Who is this guy with Michael Kors?' It was so embarrassing. My tip: Always have your first date at a casual place."
Designer Michael Kors attends the 2012 Human Rights Campaign Gala. (credit:Getty)
Iman's Tip On How To Avoid Bad Dates (03 of12)
WHO: Model Iman
DATE:"I moved to the U.S at 18 to model and I thought going out with a stranger alone was a strange concept, so I would always bring along a friend on my first dates. No man ever complained about it, though, because the friend I'd bring along would always be another model."
Model Iman speaks at the 2011 Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. (credit:Getty)
DATE:"I moved to the U.S at 18 to model and I thought going out with a stranger alone was a strange concept, so I would always bring along a friend on my first dates. No man ever complained about it, though, because the friend I'd bring along would always be another model."
Model Iman speaks at the 2011 Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. (credit:Getty)
Lauren Conrad(04 of12)
WHO: Fashion designer and blogger Lauren Conrad
DATE: "I've been on a lot more bad first dates than good ones -- there's been so many. For one, my mother set me up, which should have been a red flag. He and I didn't talk for the majority of the date -- we just sat there in awkward silence. I ate as quickly as I could to speed up getting out of there."
TV personality Lauren Conrad arrives at 13th Annual Warner Bros. And InStyle Golden Globe Awards After Party (credit:Getty)
DATE: "I've been on a lot more bad first dates than good ones -- there's been so many. For one, my mother set me up, which should have been a red flag. He and I didn't talk for the majority of the date -- we just sat there in awkward silence. I ate as quickly as I could to speed up getting out of there."
TV personality Lauren Conrad arrives at 13th Annual Warner Bros. And InStyle Golden Globe Awards After Party (credit:Getty)
Kelly Rowland (05 of12)
WHO: Singer Kelly Rowland
DATE:"I fell asleep on his shoulder, and I slobbered and snored. That was pretty bad. But he shouldn't have take men to see "There's Something About Mary" for my third time. Whoopsie."
Singer Kelly Rowland arrives at the 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards held at Staples Center. (credit:Getty)
DATE:"I fell asleep on his shoulder, and I slobbered and snored. That was pretty bad. But he shouldn't have take men to see "There's Something About Mary" for my third time. Whoopsie."
Singer Kelly Rowland arrives at the 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards held at Staples Center. (credit:Getty)
Andie MacDowell (06 of12)
WHO: Actress Andie MacDowell
DATE: "It's very odd to start dating after being married for a long time and this was one of my first dates since the divorce with my husband. My date might have only been six or seven years older than me, but my kids see me as very youthful. He came to the door to take me out. My daughter was teeny tiny at the time, and she announced, 'Mom, he is too old for you' right in front of him."
Actress Andie MacDowell attends the 'Captive' Premiere during day four of the 62nd Berlin International Film Festival. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "It's very odd to start dating after being married for a long time and this was one of my first dates since the divorce with my husband. My date might have only been six or seven years older than me, but my kids see me as very youthful. He came to the door to take me out. My daughter was teeny tiny at the time, and she announced, 'Mom, he is too old for you' right in front of him."
Actress Andie MacDowell attends the 'Captive' Premiere during day four of the 62nd Berlin International Film Festival. (credit:Getty)
Tommy Hilfiger (07 of12)
WHO: Designer Tommy Hilfiger
DATE: "I was having dinner with a girl in a restaurant, and I was so incredibly bored -- I had to get out. So I told her I had a business meeting I'd forgotten about and had to leave right then. I certainly don't think she bought it -- luckly I never talked to her again."
Tommy Hilfiger prepares backstage at the Tommy Hilfiger Men's Fall 2012 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "I was having dinner with a girl in a restaurant, and I was so incredibly bored -- I had to get out. So I told her I had a business meeting I'd forgotten about and had to leave right then. I certainly don't think she bought it -- luckly I never talked to her again."
Tommy Hilfiger prepares backstage at the Tommy Hilfiger Men's Fall 2012 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. (credit:Getty)
Jessie J (08 of12)
WHO: Singer Jessie J
DATE: "I went bowling on a double date...I got excited and I accidentally threw the ball the wrong way -- backward. It was so embarrassing. They were like,'Yeah, she's so uncool.'"
Jessie J arrives at the 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards held at Staples Center. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "I went bowling on a double date...I got excited and I accidentally threw the ball the wrong way -- backward. It was so embarrassing. They were like,'Yeah, she's so uncool.'"
Jessie J arrives at the 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards held at Staples Center. (credit:Getty)
Eliza Doolittle(09 of12)
WHO: Singer Eliza Doolittle
DATE: "I went on a blind date, and after that I never, ever did it again. The guy repeated everything he said twice. He'd say, 'So, how are you? How are you?' and I'd say I was fine, and he'd say, 'Good, good.' Or 'I'll have the mac and cheese please, please. Yeah, the mac and cheese' I don't know if there was something actually wrong with him or if it was just a bad habit, but no more blind dates after that."
Eliza Doolittle attends The Peace One Day Celebration 2011. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "I went on a blind date, and after that I never, ever did it again. The guy repeated everything he said twice. He'd say, 'So, how are you? How are you?' and I'd say I was fine, and he'd say, 'Good, good.' Or 'I'll have the mac and cheese please, please. Yeah, the mac and cheese' I don't know if there was something actually wrong with him or if it was just a bad habit, but no more blind dates after that."
Eliza Doolittle attends The Peace One Day Celebration 2011. (credit:Getty)
Salma Hayek (10 of12)
WHO: Actress Salma Hayek
DATE: "My first date with my husband started badly. I didn't know it was a date. I thought I was going to an event, and then there was just one person at it. I was set up by friends to think I was going to an event, because they knew I wouldn't go on a date. I was angry. And he didn't know, because he thought I knew he was coming just to meet him. It started out really badly. But as you can see, it ended happy."
Salma Hayek arrives at the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "My first date with my husband started badly. I didn't know it was a date. I thought I was going to an event, and then there was just one person at it. I was set up by friends to think I was going to an event, because they knew I wouldn't go on a date. I was angry. And he didn't know, because he thought I knew he was coming just to meet him. It started out really badly. But as you can see, it ended happy."
Salma Hayek arrives at the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards. (credit:Getty)
Bear Grylls(11 of12)
WHO: Adventurer Bear Grylls
DATE: "I made a picnic up on a mountain for a girl, with tables and chairs and three courses. It took me a full day to carry it all up there. But then she never showed, and the wind and rain blew it. The whole night was a washout."
Bear Grylls attends the 2012 Laureus World Sports Awards. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "I made a picnic up on a mountain for a girl, with tables and chairs and three courses. It took me a full day to carry it all up there. But then she never showed, and the wind and rain blew it. The whole night was a washout."
Bear Grylls attends the 2012 Laureus World Sports Awards. (credit:Getty)
Wendy Williams On Breaking Dates (12 of12)
WHO: Media personality Wendy Williams
DATE: "I was a smart dating girl. I always had enough money for a cab from wherever I was. I didn't have problems breaking a date. Like I'd say, 'You know what, this date is really not working out. Don't worry -- if you don't pick up the tab, I will, and I'll take a cab back to my house.' If you say it like you mean it, the dates can't be bad -- they just end."
Wendy Williams attends the 20th Anniversary Celebration Of Christian Louboutin. (credit:Getty)
DATE: "I was a smart dating girl. I always had enough money for a cab from wherever I was. I didn't have problems breaking a date. Like I'd say, 'You know what, this date is really not working out. Don't worry -- if you don't pick up the tab, I will, and I'll take a cab back to my house.' If you say it like you mean it, the dates can't be bad -- they just end."
Wendy Williams attends the 20th Anniversary Celebration Of Christian Louboutin. (credit:Getty)