Woman Receives Online Abuse For Saying She Doesn't Want To Have Children, But She's Fighting Back

Woman Receives Online Abuse For Saying She Doesn't Want To Have Children
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When Holly Brockwell wrote about the fact that she doesn't want to have children, she knew her stance was controversial. But she never expected the sheer volume of backlash and abuse that would force her offline.

After 36 hours, she's back online and set on fighting the trolls for her right - for all women's rights - to express their opinions without fear.

The 29-year-old, who is founder of the women's tech and lifestyle site Gadgette, was commissioned by the BBC to write a piece about her - clearly divisive - stance on reproduction as part of their '100 Women 2015' series.

"As a woman, there are four little words I can say that invite more condescension than almost any others: 'I don't want children'," she wrote, before explaining that she's tired of having to explain her stance to friends and family.

"There's nothing about creating another human that appeals to me. That's an emotional thing, and translating it into rational reasons takes something away from its strength."

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Brockwell has decided that she wants to be sterilised, but has faced numerous obstacles in trying to secure the procedure.

"I don't need reversible contraception. There's a 10-minute keyhole operation that can solve this problem for good, and I can't believe that at the age of almost 30 in 2015, I'm still having to fight to get it.

"We can choose to get pregnant at 16, but not to decline motherhood at 29. It seems our decisions are only taken seriously when they align with tradition."

Speaking to HuffPost UK Lifestyle, Brockwell says the backlash started about 30 minutes after the post went live.

Before long she was getting messages to her personal email, Twitter and Facebook accounts, and even her LinkedIn and Instagram. She even received calls to her mobile.

Many criticisms she had heard before - that she'll change her mind and that she was selfish - but others took a more personal approach.

"People sought me out to say they were glad I haven't reproduced, that they're pleased there won't be any more people like me in the world. They cast aspersions on my mum and said I need psychological help," Brockwell told the BBC in a follow up report.

"One man said he wouldn't want to have sex with me (except he was far less polite about it). Some said the solution is for me to stay celibate which suggests they only ever have sex when they want babies, which is ludicrous."

But while some reports have stated that Brockwell received violent threats and was sent a bodyguard by the BBC, she told HuffPost UK Lifestyle that neither of these claims are true.

"The bodyguard thing is a bit of a misquote. They had a security guard meet me at my car and walk me to the building. That wasn't at my request, I think they were just being cautious and kind. They hadn't received any threats or anything," she said.

"I felt like I had no choice but to deactivate my Twitter account because the messages coming in were really bringing me down," she tells HuffPost UK Lifestyle. "It feels like you're being absolutely bombarded. On Sunday night I was sitting at home by myself, crying, and I realised I just didn't need to see any more of it."

She said she only got the courage to reactivate her Twitter account after her mum said she "shouldn't let the trolls win".

"All the trolls want is to stop women like me from having a voice - we can't let them get away with that. It's so important that people who feel this way speak up - how else are we going to be taken seriously?

"If no one hears from people who've carefully considered their decision and know their own minds, and even more importantly, people who said they didn't want kids in their twenties and feel exactly the same way in their sixties, then they'll continue to make ignorant comments and refuse treatment.

"Since I've written about it, so many people have got in touch to say they're really glad someone's speaking out for them, that it's helped them. And that makes the trolling totally worth it."

Celebrities Who Have No Children
Chelsea Handler(01 of12)
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"I definitely don't want to have kids. I don't think I'd be a great mother," Handler has admitted. "I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have the time to raise a child myself." (credit:Getty)
Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt(02 of12)
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"I'd be a terrible father!" Hamm told Us Weekly, much to the disappointment of the "Mad Men" star's fans. "I see my friends who have children and I'm like, 'Dude, how are you even upright, much less here at work at 6 AM?'" (credit:Getty)
George Clooney(03 of12)
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Hollywood's most eligible bachelor is well-known on his stance on marriage and children. "I've always known fatherhood wasn't for me. Raising kids is a huge commitment and has to be your top priority. For me, that priority is my work. That's why I'll never get married again," Clooney told Australia's Daily Telegraph. (credit:Getty)
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi(04 of12)
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"You have to really want to have kids, and neither of us did," de Rossi told Out Magazine. "So it’s just going to be me and Ellen and no babies -- but we’re the best of friends and married life is blissful, it really is." (credit:Getty)
Cameron Diaz(05 of12)
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Diaz told Parade magazine in 2009: "I have an unbelievable life. In some ways, I have the life that I have because I don’t have children," she said. "I don’t think it’s a compromise to have children. I don’t think it’s a compromise not to. I think it’s just a different choice." (credit:Getty)
Ricky Gervais(06 of12)
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"We never wanted to be parents, with all that entails: the loss of freedom, total dependency," the British comedian has said. “I’m the sort of person who has to check three times that I’ve shut the door, so I’d probably stare at a kid all day to check it was breathing." (credit:Getty)
Margaret Cho(07 of12)
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In 20212, the outspoken comedian wrote on her blog why having kids wasn't in her destiny. "I don’t have children, and I am not sure if I have wanted them or never wanted them. It’s weird not to be able to decide. I don’t know if I could stand that kind of commitment, or if I am really honest, I don’t think that I could handle being that vulnerable to someone else." (credit:Getty)
Jay Leno and Mavis Leno(08 of12)
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The late-night talk show host and wife of over 30 years have said that they never planned on having children. "I had made up my mind when I was little that I would never get married or have children, so I had no agenda," Mavis told the LA Times in 2009 (although she and Jay eventually did end up tying the knot, in 1980). (credit:Getty)
Renee Zellweger(09 of12)
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Zellweger has been frank on her non-desire to have kids. “Motherhood has never been an ambition. I don’t think like that. I never have expectations like ‘when I’m 19 I’m going to do this, and by the time I’ve hit 25 I’m going to do that’. I just take things as they come, each day at a time, and if things happen, all well and good. I just want to be independent and be able to take care of myself. Anything else is just gravy.” (credit:Getty)
Janeane Garofalo(10 of12)
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“I thought that I did. Now I realize that I don't. People think that you are a nasty, selfish person if you don’t want to have children," the comedian said. (credit:Getty)
Kim Catrall(11 of12)
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"When I answered those questions regarding having children, I realized that so much of the pressure I was feeling was from outside sources, and I knew I wasn't ready to take that step into motherhood," Catrall wrote on Oprah.com about her realization she didn't want to have children. "Being a biological mother just isn't part of my experience this time around," she added. (credit:Getty)
Oprah Winfrey(12 of12)
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Though the media mogul never wanted children for herself, she founded the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa in 2007 -- and now counts the girls in her school as "daughters." She said: "I never had children, never even thought I would have children. Now I have 152 daughters; expecting 75 more next year. That is some type of gestation period." (credit:Getty)