Women Reveal What They Look For When Visiting A Guy's Place For The First Time

Guys, have you ever wondered what turns women off when visiting a prospective love interest's house?

Well, we can tell you now that turd streaks in the loo and life-size self portraits are high on the list.

One inquisitive Reddit user pitched the following question to the internet masses: "Girls of Reddit: What are some things you look for when visiting a guys place for the first time?"

And the answers are spot on. Fellas, take note.

Sex, Love And Dating Do's And Dont's

DO: Choose The Right Location(01 of05)

While no one's denying the allure of aisles full of screws and hard wood, getting nailed at Home Depot can land you in jail. Just ask this couple, who learned the hard way that Home Depot's former motto of "You Can Do It. We Can Help" is a big, fat lie.

Oh yeah, don't have sex while driving a car, either. (credit:Gettystock/Ethan Fedida)

DO: Pick A Human Partner(02 of05)

This means no pool floats, no couches and, for God's sake, no animals.

If you, like this Texas gentleman, are under the impression that having sex with a horse will result in "a horse-man baby," you are severely mistaken. (credit:Gettystock)

DON'T: Include Your Family(03 of05)

Family should always come first, but not in the bedroom.

When this South Carolina man attempted a three-way with his girlfriend and her female cousin, the night ended with an assault charge. Don't try this at home, or anywhere. (credit:Gettystock)

DO: Call Your Mom(04 of05)

Not while shaking the sheets, obviously, but let her know what's happening in your life every now and then. Otherwise, you might wind up like this British man, whose mother reported him missing when he was really just having sex at a hotel. (credit:Gettystock)

Do NOT Let A Dolphin Assist With Your Child's Birth(05 of05)

If you wind up with a case of the babies, go to a doctor, not a dolphin.

This North Carolina couple claims they traveled to Hawaii to partake in a "dolphin-assisted birth," which is also known as "hands down, one of the worst natural birthing ideas anyone has ever had," according to science writer Christie Wilcox.

Seriously, dolphins have been known to try to rape people, and disrupting wild dolphin populations with your screaming, blood-covered bundle of joy is dolphin-itely a terrible idea. (credit:Shutterstock)

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