Quarter Of Women Over 40 Say Sex Life Is Non-Existent Thanks To Menopause
Many Women Over 40 Say Sex Is Off The Cards Because Of This...
Natasha Hinde— The Huffington Post UK
|
Women over 40 are experiencing something of a crisis in the bedroom department.
According to a new study of 1,000 women, females who are entering the perimenopause - the period leading up to the menopause - have an increased risk of experiencing anxiety and a drop in mood and may also suffer from loss of libido.
Worryingly, many women claim that they no longer feel attractive (a third said this was due to weight gain), while nearly two thirds no longer feel the desire to have sex with their partners.
Open Image Modal
Research from Healthspan suggests that this is because more and more 40-year-olds are experiencing the perimenopause, symptoms of which include hot flushes, insomnia, mood swings, anxiety, depression, sore joints and a weak bladder.
And nearly three quarters of women approached admitted that this impacts their relationships.
However, despite lack of sex drive being such an issue among women in their forties and fifties, there is still a major reluctance to seek help.
“I was surprised to see that nearly half of women didn’t even know what the perimenopause is and that three-fifths of women haven’t sought help from their doctor," said GP, Dr Sarah Brewer.
"What’s shocking is that so many women are suffering and battling through without help.”
Mental health also plays a huge part in sex drive decline and, sadly, 61% of women surveyed suffer anxiety due to the symptoms of the perimenopause.
Additionally, self-confidence can have an impact. In fact, research showed that over half of women had lost their self-confidence.
One explanation for this, says psychologist Sally Brown, is that there's a "drop in oestrogen", which helps make serotonin, the feel-good chemical in the brain.
Clare Prendergast is a sex therapist for Relate. Speaking to HuffPost UK Lifestyle, she reveals that in her experience of helping couples, it's always been really important to ensure the woman actually sees the lack of sex as a problem.
"She might just not be in the mood for sex, and it's about validating whether it's okay to be like that. I'd only want to go in with interventions if it's a problem for her," she adds.
"I'd also want to make sure there's no medical reason for sexual decline. Particularly as medications surrounding depression, anxiety and even epilepsy can affect this."
Story continues below...
11 Things You Need To Know About Menopause
What Is It?(01 of11)
Open Image Modal
Menopause is when a woman’s menstrual periods cease because the ovaries are no longer producing estrogen and progesterone (a hormone). Once menopause starts, a woman is no longer able to become pregnant. The time period leading up to menopause, when estrogen and progesterone levels are changing and periods can become irregular, is called perimenopause. According to the Office on Women’s Health in the U.S., a woman is considered to have gone through menopause if she has not had a menstrual period for one year — cancelling out other reasons that would cause menstruation to cease, like illness, pregnancy and breastfeeding. Menopause can occur over a wide range of ages, but early 50s is the average, and the menopausal transition can take from two to eight years. (credit:Dorling Kindersley via Getty Images)
Know The Symptoms (02 of11)
Open Image Modal
Common symptoms of perimenopause and menopause include irregular or absent menstruation, sleeplessness, hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, mood changes, and increased vaginal or urinary tract infections. Some of these symptoms may continue for months or years after a woman stops menstruating, the Office of Women’s Health notes. Tracking symptoms can provide your doctor with helpful information on handling them, and give you a way to anticipate when they might occur. (credit:YunYulia via Getty Images)
But There Are Unusual Symptoms As Well (03 of11)
Open Image Modal
"Patients are often surprised to learn that mood swings, depression and sexual dysfunction can also occur,” says Dr. Nina Ali, a gynaecologist with The Menopause Center at Texas Children’s Pavilion for Women. "Joint aches and pains and skin changes are sometimes present as well.” Some women may also experience weight gain around their midsections, or lose muscle and gain fat. Changes in sexual desire and drive (up and down) are also possible. (credit:Cavan Images via Getty Images)
Take A Deep Breath (04 of11)
Open Image Modal
Some women find relief from hot flashes through relaxing exercises like paced breathing training or meditation, Ali says. When a hot flash starts, practice your preferred mindfulness technique to get some relief from the symptoms. (credit:Michaela Begsteiger via Getty Images)
Exercise And Eat Well(05 of11)
Open Image Modal
Staying active during menopause is important, because it helps maintain bone density, muscle mass, and metabolism, Ali says. It’s also important to make sure you get enough calcium to maintain healthy bones: the Office on Women’s Health recommends 1,200 mg of calcium daily for women older than 51, along with 600 IU (international unit) of vitamin D and 800 IU if you are older than 70. If you have experienced menopause but still have vaginal bleeding due to hormone therapy, you may need iron supplements as well. (credit:Tomwang112 via Getty Images)
Stay Cool(06 of11)
Open Image Modal
Staying cool overall can help make hot flashes a lot more bearable. Dr. Robert S. Wool, an OB/GYN with Women’s Health Associates suggests adding air conditioning and cool baths to your daily routine. (credit:David Arky via Getty Images)
Consider Herbal Relief (07 of11)
Open Image Modal
Some non-hormonal treatments have been shown to provide relief, Dr. Wool says, including a black herb called cohosh. There is some preliminary clinical evidence that black cohosh can provide short-term relief from menopausal symptoms, according to the National Institutes of Health in the United States. Be sure to let your physician know about any herbal supplements you take, in order to avoid harmful interactions with medication. (credit:Foodcollection RF via Getty Images)
Hormone Therapy May Be An Option For Some(08 of11)
Open Image Modal
Though it has been very controversial, for some women hormone therapy is safe and provides more benefits than risks, Ali says. "Women who are good candidates for hormone therapy are close to menopause, typically ages 50 to 59, are in good health, do not have cancer, liver disease, unexplained vaginal bleeding, or a history of heart disease or blood clots,” she says. The risks vary with age, she adds, and the therapy is more beneficial when you start at a younger age. "Hormone therapy can effectively relieve hot flashes, vaginal dryness and night sweats,” she says. "Hormone therapy can also protect the bones from osteoporosis, lower the risk of type 2 diabetes, and help with mood and memory.” (credit:hatchapong via Getty Images)
But Be Aware Of The Cautions (09 of11)
Open Image Modal
Wool also advises that hormone therapy can be relatively safe in most patients, but gives a few warnings. "There are certain concerns and that would be an increased risk of stroke, an increased risk of VTE or venothrombotic events such as a blood clot in the legs or lungs,” he says. "Plus, the data on breast cancer is not out. There’s mixed feelings on whether or not hormone replacement increases breast cancer.” Each individual patient should speak with her physician to outline her own profile for risks and benefits. (credit:PelageyaKlubnikina via Getty Images)
It May Not Be Menopause (10 of11)
Open Image Modal
It’s important to pay attention to changes in your body because the symptoms associated with menopause can have other causes as well. Hot flashes could also be a result of thyroid dysfunction, medication side effects, stress, or fever, Ali notes. For younger women, night sweats could be a sign of infection, lymphoma, or leukemia, Wool says, adding that vaginal dryness should be addressed at any age. And when it comes to the lack of sleep many menopausal women experience, it could be related to environmental factors like stress and anxiety, Ali says. (credit:Jetta Productions via Getty Images)
Take Care Of Your Medical Business (11 of11)
Open Image Modal
Preventive care becomes even more important during and after menopause, Ali says, and this includes screening for breast, cervical, and colon cancers. Talk to your physician about your personal risk profile for these conditions and go over the current screening recommendations to find out what you need to have checked. Also, keep up your yearly medical exams, Dr. Wool says, so you have a forum for discussing concerns about menopause with your physician. "There’s a lot of misinformation out there in addition to a lot of different opinions,” he says. "It is important that every woman has this discussion with her own practitioner." (credit:SelectStock via Getty Images)
Once various factors have been ruled out, the sex therapist says she'd tell the couple to have a sex and masturbation ban - the length of which can vary depending on the couple.
"This helps as the pressure is taken off performance and having to orgasm," she says.
"Then I’d encourage the couple to spend one hour, three times a week, naked, exploring each other’s bodies taking it in turns to touch one another."
She likens this whole process to discovering a food intolerance: "When you go to see a specialist, they tell you to strip back different foods and then you gradually reintroduce them into your diet. It's the same in this instance."
Prendergast adds that the simple act of talking about it and acknowledging there's a problem can also precipitate the return of sex drive.
But, she notes, there are lots of different ways of addressing sexual therapy because "everybody is different".