The Blog

A Little Compassion...

When did everyone become so mean anyway? We all have our secret sorrows. We all have our hidden hurts. And try to remember, that nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

I hate it when people go on about other people being so "out of touch with reality".

Out of touch with WHOSE reality?

I'm coming back yet again to Gwyneth Paltrow. This time for her comment about being a working mother.

"I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you're shooting a movie, they're like, "We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks," and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set."

Ok. Now of course she is out of touch with OTHER people's realities.

But you know something else? It's an unfortunate truth, but most peoples worlds revolve around themselves.

This is HER reality. She can only speak for herself. It's true and relevant for her as she peers over the fence into the lives of others as a comparison.

Of the bunch of articles I've read on her recent separation from her husband, it seems that a lot of people are REALLY angry with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Angry because she is slim, gorgeous, successful, and wealthy.

She has no right to be human and have any feelings. Right?

Money fixes everything right?

Well, I have to quote an excerpt from the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".

"As a woman's financial needs are fulfilled, she becomes more aware of her emotional needs. A wealthy woman needs more permission to be upset. When a woman has a lot of money, people do not give her the right to be upset. She has no permission to be like a wave and crash from time to time. She has no permission to explore her feelings or to need more in any area of her life. A woman with money is expected to be fulfilled all the time because her life could be so much worse without this financial abundance. This expectation is not only impractical but disrespectful. Regardless of wealth, status, privilege, or circumstances, a woman needs permission to be upset".

Is Gwyneth not as human as the rest of us?

Does she not get lonely, depressed, confused, exhausted? Does she not sometimes cry herself to sleep at night, and need to be comforted? Does she not worry about her children, and winding up alone? Does she not just need a hug and for someone to tell her it's all going to be ok?

Money can buy you a lot of things.

Fancy cars. Designer label clothes. Fabulous holidays.

And sure. It can make things a lot easier.

But what about happiness?

Of course money can't buy you happiness.

What about love? What about health?

It can't buy these two things either.

So whilst a lot of people may be furious with her that she has hit the genetic gene pool lottery, and has what may seemingly be "all the luck in the world", a little compassion for her as a woman wouldn't go astray.

Breakups are hard. In fact, they are soul destroying on so many levels.

Just because she is beautiful and rich, does not make the emotional impact of the ending of a long term relationship any easier.

And when did everyone become so mean anyway?

We all have our secret sorrows. We all have our hidden hurts. And try to remember, that nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

So today, try to show some compassion and empathy towards someone. Stop bitching about people. Stop being jealous and hateful. And try to remember that we are all on our individual journeys, some outwardly appearing more materialistically comfortable than the next person. But no one knows how this person really feels.

And in terms of some people being out of touch with reality? Ask yourself what IS the reality. Not just YOUR reality. Not simply the reality that is portrayed. The illusion of the facade. Try to scratch below the surface, and then you will discover who this person really is. And maybe then we will have some compassion.

"We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer