Building Our Tribe

09/10/2013 11:14 BST | Updated 08/12/2013 10:12 GMT

In Kelly Cutrone's books, she drives home the message that we need to build our tribe. The people whom we surround ourselves with. Even if we have to pay them.

Not pay them to be our friends of course. I do surround myself with great friends, however I'm a little hard work at times. But aren't the best things in life worth the most amount of effort?

So back to our tribe, and the people in our tribe sometimes being ones that we pay.

My naturopath for instance. Yes, I pay her for a consultation. I have been her client for over 5 years now. She doubles as not only a health professional (she is remarkable), but also as a mentor. I trust her implicitly to give me the best advice. She also is incredibly intuitive and uses this intuition to diagnose her patients.

I went and had a consultation with her a few weeks back.

She noticed I wasn't my talkative bubbly self.

"There are some clients who have no spark whatsoever. They just don't have any life in them, and they are happy that way. You on the other hand, have always had that spark. That fire in you. Now I do still see that spark, but it's only at about 10% of what it normally is. What happened to the Amy that was so in control of herself? What happened to the Amy that was fearless and determined and had the drive to accomplish such great things? What happened to the Amy that doesn't follow the crowd, and who isn't afraid of putting herself out there? She's still in there. You need to connect with yourself again. Find yourself."

These are the types of people I mean. Ones that intuitively know who you really are, and that push you to become the best possible version of yourself that you can be.

Likewise with my guru. I am almost scared of him. In a lot of ways I feel as though he's my brother. We have this strange connection. When I say connection, whenever he pops into my mind, I always get a message from him. Checking up on me. Pushing me, challenging me. I share absolutely everything with him, as I do not fear judgement from him. This is something that is very important. The ability to be totally honest and not be judged.

I have also recently begun seeing a life coach. She is great. She puts things into perspective for me.

I saw her the other day.

"Do I write wrong?" I asked her, in regards to my blog.

"You are a fantastic writer. You are deeply aware of your surroundings. And no, you do not write wrong. How can what you feel be wrong?"

Or my progeny. Even though he is 10 years my junior, and I am there in a sense to mentor him, he seems to be able to reverse the role at times and mentor me. Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser.

Yes, these people in a sense are on my payroll, however it's imperative that we do build our tribe.

We all learn something from everyone.

Whether it be my friends 6 year old son, who has taught me the art of both observation (that kid doesn't miss a beat), and tenacity (he whines until he gets what he wants - it's remarkable to see how he is relentless in pushing and pushing until he gets what he's after), my father in his unwavering patience, and understanding, and my friends with their constant holding of my hand. Like I said, I can be very hard work.

So whether it be your therapist, hairdresser, sister, or best friend, make sure you build that tribe, and surround yourself with people who encourage, inspire, and remind you of how truly fabulous you are.