It was on one of the rare occasions when the newborn was sleeping that I had a moment of madness and decided it would be a good idea to clear out my wardrobe. In essence the plan was flawed before I had even opened the doors to my fashion Narnia.
Driven by a lack of sleep and hormones I dug out items like a mad woman, tutting at the obscenely short dresses I had been wearing a mere nine months before and crying at the bikinis that I thought I would never get into again.
In short - the charity shops did well out of me that day, the wardrobe cried at how empty it felt and I realised that I had probably jumped the fashion gun.
However, although some items got the brunt of the rage - there's nothing wrong with a yellow cardigan - other pieces deserved their place in the charity bag. Agree or not, there are just some things you probably shouldn't wear when you become a mum - at least for the first few years anyway.
Here's just a few...
Leggings as trousers...
Come on now - you may have shown off everything during the birth of your little one but let's have some dignity. While leggings are fine to wear under dresses, longline tees and jumpers, there's no need to wear these with short tops. Bending over to pick up a baby or toddler means they'll stretch and we all know that means they'll go see through. If you didn't know that before - you do now.
Low-rise Jeans
I love low rise jeans and these were actually a pair that survived the cull. However, they soon found themselves in the charity bag after a day at a baby and toddler group when I bent over to change the child's nappy and showed off far too much of my greying granny knickers (clearly I didn't get the memo about always wearing nice undies).
Very low cut tops
As I've said before, one of the many bonuses of having a baby and being pregnant is that of course the cleavage begins to rival Kelly Brook's. And I was quite happy showing it off. It was the first time in my life that I was able to accidentally drop something down my top without it falling through onto my belly! I took advantage and embraced it, wearing low V-necks and wrap tops, until one day the inevitable happened - the child was sick all down my front and with nothing to stop it, guess where it trickled into...
Crocs
I'm cheating with this one, but mum or not, this pair of shoes (and that's describing them nicely) should only be worn if you're under 4 years old - although even that's pushing it. And before you try the 'but they are flat and comfy', I have two words for you - ballet pumps.
Of course once you're over the bending and lifting days there's nothing to stop you from donning these - except the crocs - there will never be an acceptable time for those. Ever.