Wasting our life on pop culture blogs and gossip sites, so you don't have to.
Getting older and wiser sucks sometimes, particularly because you're increasingly conscious of what an immature bonehead you used to be. This week, it's the turn of megastar rapper, Beyonce-marrier and brand-spanking-new father, Jay-Z, to cringe about sexist lyrics he rapped in the past.
As www.nme.com reports, a poem said to be penned by the rapper to his one-month-old daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, is doing the rounds on the net. In it, he raps for the record: "Before I got in the game, made a change, and got rich/I didn't think hard about using the word bitch/I rapped, I flipped it, I sold it, I lived it/Now with my daughter in this world I curse those that give it".
He adds, "No man will degrade her, or call her name. I'm so focused on your future, the degradation has passed. I wish you wealth, health and insight. Forever young you may pass. Blue Ivy Carter, my angel".
Let's remember that the word "bitch" has been offensive to women long before Jay-Z had a baby daughter. However, I'm all for a few less bitches in our vernacular, and it's strangely endearing to witness rappers get old and sentimental.
Plus this isn't the first time Jay-Z has admitted he's embarrassed by certain vintage lyrics of his. A year ago he told the Wall Street Times, "Some lyrics become really profound when you see them in writing. Not "Big Pimpin."...I can't believe I said that. And kept saying it. What kind of animal would say this sort of thing? Reading it is really harsh."
Just to make us all feel a bit more smug about the dorkish stuff we were spouting 10 years ago, let's take a look at Big Pimpin'. In case you don't remember, the most romantic bit goes:
"Many chicks wanna put Jigga fist in cuffs
Divorce him and split his bucks
Just because you got good head, I'ma break bread
so you can be livin it up?"
Aw! It's okay! We've all said stupid things in the past. It's just that we didn't rap them in a mega-successful hit single that instantly became the ringtone of choice for an entire generation of wannabe jerks. Unlucky, Mr Z...
Sharon Osbourne Update: Still Having Sex
That's right! Since you've been stressing about this question for years, I can finally put you out of your misery: Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne are still at it. "We make love all the time," she says. "We used to do it five times a week. I take breaks from my chat show to have sex." Huh! To think we're making tea in the ad breaks...
Hackers, Ashton Kutcher Is Going To Hunt You Down Like Dogs
Well, not quite. But we've been enjoying the Twitter to-do since confirmed twaddict Kutcher had his account hacked the night of the Golden Globes, as E! reports. "I'm coming for you my friend," Kutcher tweeted in a caption, followed later by a "Ok mr hacker, you only made one mistake. You hacked my Foursquare and I now know your address. Whoops...This is gonna be fun."
This scenario sound like a pitch for the worst inflight-entertainment movie ever.