09/08/2013 14:28 BST | Updated 09/10/2013 06:12 BST

Prince George Being Circumcised? What Total TOSH!


Of all the ludicrous pieces of claptrap that I have heard spouted about Prince George, there is nothing quite so bonkers - so utterly fantastical - as this idea that the boy is going to be circumcised.

Where has this nutso idea come from? I know exactly where: the United States.

Over in the US, it is quite common for wee boys to be circumcised, whatever their religion.

Well good for them.

But because circumcision is rife in the US, some doltish royal commentators have got it into their heads that it's happening all over the world.

I can just imagine the newsroom conversation: "Hey! American boys get circumcised - so when's this Prince Georgie going to be done? Who's gonna do it? What will happen to the royal foreskin? Find out - now! The public has a right to know!" Ahemmm! Do I need to spell it out?

Circumcision is a rarity in the UK - and is generally only done for religious or medical reasons. To think that Prince William and Kate are even considering having their boy circumcised is just crackers. Not that we should ever let the facts spoil a good story, but...

You might as well speculate that Wills is going to have George's name tattooed onto his bicep.

Or that the young royals are thinking of having George's ears pierced. Or that Kate has been giving serious thought to eating the placenta. Now that would be a story.

I can just see Kate and Wills tucking into the placenta over a decent bottle of chianti - though unfortunately for us benighted Royal pundits, there's about as much chance of that happening as there is of a royal circumcision.