21/09/2016 07:44 BST | Updated 21/09/2017 06:12 BST

The One Solution To Just About Everything...

...The recognition of 14 year old men (and the occasional women who act like them).

I'm not arguing for the de-masculinization of the planet (though a good planetary flea dip wouldn't hurt), but for the simple acknowledgement of the fact that most women have known since the beginning of time: few men ever grow emotionally beyond 14 years old. I'm not being cute or sarcastic. Any extra-planetary, neutral third party would look at our global history, and current economic/political/social/cultural status and determine that we have yet to grow out of testosterone-driven, ego-based schoolyard bully phase of the 14 year old male.

I'm also not arguing that a world run exclusively by women would solve the planet's problems. Spend time with any group of women and you'll find they bring their own issues to the table. Certainly some balance between the masculine and the feminine would help.

But what would be most helpful now is to simply acknowledge the truth of the 14 year old male and the 14 year old male's view of the world: I am powerless. I must do whatever I can to have power. I don't understand my sexuality. It's out of control. I must have control. To have power is to have control. To share is to be weak. To be weak is to be powerless. I must have mine and I must have yours then I will be back in control.

A 14 year old male sees the world only inhabited by other 14 year old males, also out of control and wanting power.

What a 14 year old male does not understand is that at the very center of the sense of powerless and being out of control, lies a deep shame of the self, derived primarily from an out-of-control testosterone-driven sexuality that the male ego eventually translates into violence, whether outward or inward. That violence may become physical attack, or the drive to conquer and achieve success at any cost. The ancient kill of the mastodon becomes the 'kill' in the stock market or on the football field, or in the boardroom.

The 40 year old male takes on the trappings of sophisticated language and education and the veneer of civilization, but it is still the 14 year old boy making decisions.

It is time to acknowledge the 14 year old boy wherever he appears, on the sports field, in the house of legislature, on the 'big screen', on the battlefield, in the corporation, in the presidency.

A 14 year old boy needs protection from outside forces he secretly fears. An adult male faces his fears and sees them for what they are: illusions.

A 14 year old boy wants more and more and more. A man has enough to share.

A 14 year old boy doesn't share. A man shares everything, even his last dollar.

A 14 year old boy fears other 14 year old boys. A man fears no one.

A 14 year old boy equates only sex with love, power with possession. A man knows the difference and never seeks power over another.

A 14 year old boy sees a violent world and seeks to battle it. A man sees the inner violence and seeks to heal it.

A 14 year old boy shouts out the injustice of the world. A man changes the world.

A 14 year old boy needs a gun. A man holds out an open hand.

A 14 year old boy builds fences and walls. A man takes them down.

A 14 year old boy makes war. A man makes peace.

A 14 year old boy seeks strength and validation outside himself. A man seeks both inside himself.

A 14 year old boy attacks. A man defends, and only the defenseless.

A 14 year old boy is a constant victim. A man is his own master.

A 14 year old boy believes he is a man.

A man knows.


For anyone reading intrigued enough to check back, I'll be writing primarily about MMM: MisManaged Masculinity in the 21st Century and beyond; and that most everything we know about relationships in the 21st Century and beyond is wrong* (* Not EVERYTHING.**) (** But almost everything.)