ADMIT IT. You are always checking your Facebook newsfeed, whether on the office computer at work or on the app on your phone. Yes, you are OBSESSED! But why have we all become so engrossed in something so monstrous and so superficial?
Every day you wake up, you do your routine duties and one of them is checking your Facebook. Now, this is not something you will do once in a day, but several times. Not only can you click onto your friend, but you can click on their friends too, and suddenly you are exposed to people you didn't even know but who can now discover more things about you than even your own family can!
You're at an opening day at your new university and the tall skinny girl with legs that pretty much go up to her neck keeps catching your eye. You're thinking, is it my choice of clothes? It was an early start and your hair is tied in a messy bun and you decided to wear the camel coloured jeans today. God, what is she staring at? The career adviser asks everyone to mingle and enjoy the free canapés available by the lawn. Walking towards the lawn, you can see in the corner of your eye the leggy girl coming up behind you. You grab a cheese straw and when you turn around the leggy girl is facing you. "Hi, you went traveling with Lucy and Ellie to Thailand, and you know my friend Georgie who went to school with me.".
You're screaming inside, excuse me, do I actually know you? Are you some kind of stalker? And how the hell do you know this information about me? Completely freaked out, you stare at her blankly whilst shrugging. "Umm...Yeah... I did go travelling with them....what a small world".
ADMIT IT, you have been there. You have been in a situation where you have seen someone who you recognize, and the only reason you recognize them is through Facebook! We all become stalkers on Facebook .
However, the dangers of Facebook stalking can reach a new level when there are ex-boyfriends involved. This is known as 'second-degree psycho stalking'. You could almost be a detective or a secret spy. People might know you as Annabel, but you're really Annabel AKA second degree psycho stalker Annabel. Yes, it is you that is lurking on his or her page at midnight and then checking it literally five minutes later! You're committed and dedicated to this role, you religiously check it, making sure you're up to date with their every move. Impressive huh?
However, you have to admit that when you get a boyfriend or girlfriend of your own you want to share your exciting news with your friends, family and others. Yes, you want the world to know! With a simple edit to your homepage your can share with thousands of people that you are 'In a Relationship with Edward'. Now, everyone has got the goss, it's all over your friends' home feeds. Within seconds you're getting email notifications saying, "Lucy likes your status", and "Ben has commented on your status". In seconds you're logging onto your page to see your responses. You feel popular, you want more likes, more comments, you bloody love the attention, just ADMIT IT.
Nonetheless, having a relationship status can be a recipe for disaster when you break up. First you have the question of which one of you is going to delete the relationship off Facebook. If the other half does it, he's the idiot and yes you hate him! Then you have to decide whether to strike back by deleting him as a friend off your own Facebook. You do it, and delete both. On your profile page the heart icon which was once displayed whole is now torn in two and the comments are already flooding in. Now you're getting sad faces sent to you and comments like, " I am soooo sorry, are you Okay?" and "I hope you're alright, let's do something soon?"
You might think that the ex can not see your Facebook profile because you are no longer friends, but unfortunately you had added many of his friends when you were together. You can't hide. Yes, your ex can still hunt you down and view your profile through his friend's profiles. Of course you have no reason to un-friend his friends, but you're now in the prime position of receiving, third-degree "I know what you've been up to" stalking. ADMIT IT, you have done this too. You've been at a friend's house on their Facebook page, using their login to get access to someone you can't see from your own page. Yes, you are willing use this database to hunt the hell out of whoever it might be for your creepy personal obsession!
Overall, it has to be said, we can all definitely qualify for at least one of the three degrees of Facebook stalking. Although you may express to people that you never use the site, trust me, we all know you are lying.
NEW NOTIFICATION, "Sophie likes Alice's Photo". Your looking down at your phone and your not even listening.