24/11/2014 09:21 GMT | Updated 24/01/2015 05:59 GMT

I Ate Dog Biscuits


I was down my local Tesco Metro looking for tinned tomatoes when it struck me I hadn't eaten dog food before. So I ran round to the pet convenience section and spotted these tasty treats and totally bought them!

Anyway, what's inside the packet and are they as tasty as they look?


Well, not exactly. They are disgusting. For a start the base is very bland but there is a background flavour of meat which is strong, overpowering, sinister, evil; a bit like biltong except much more chemically. I guess you could say they taste like a poltergeist, or, I dunno, a meaty tree. I really have no idea. I don't like them.

But what to do with them?

Looking for inspiration, I read the back of the packet.

We believe in the strength of a smile, in the simple magic of creating things in an oven, and sharing them

Me too!

But I still needed ideas and headed over to my facebook page where some young scamp helpfully suggested I make something like hobnobs.

ie hobdognobs.

I start my hobgobdobs by crushing the treats in a bowl and add a totally random amount of butter and sugar because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, to be honest:


Then I transfer the mix to some biscuit moulds (TBH they do look like hobnobs):


And I have no idea why I've bothered to make four because it's not as if I'm expecting guests round for coffee or anything.

Next, I transfer my hogobdogs to my professional chef's oven set to 140c and after around 20 minutes 'baking' remove:



And how do my hobdognobs taste?

The sugar and butter have done well to mask the strange meat flavour, and to begin with they just taste like sweet biscuits. But sure enough, after a few moments you are hit with that strange taste and I feel quite ill. Having said that, they taste better than the original treat. But that's like saying being stung by a bee is better than being stung by a wasp. Or something. They are ducking fisgusting basically.

Anyway, what did you think of my hobgobdognobsnobs? Can you say that very fast? Great! Why not pop over to my twitter account and go woof woof etc. Sorry.