02/10/2013 07:54 BST | Updated 01/12/2013 05:12 GMT

Grants Minced Beef and Onion


I was in my local grocery shop and was hungry and saw this can and thought "how incredibly intriguing!"

But what to do with it? After some thought I reckoned it might work as a basic bolognese; few cherry tomatoes, lemon, wee bit chilli sauce etc:


So, what's inside the tin? I bet it's delicious!


I start off by adding it to some chopped garlic...


After a few seconds frying and before adding the other ingredients I thought I'd try a wee bit.

It is absolutely disgusting and completely inedible.

Next, I add some lemon, wee dash soy sauce, tomatoes, dash of delicious habenero hot sauce, cook down for about 5 minutes and serve with pasta:


I know what you're thinking...amazing...

No. It is now only barely edible instead of ducking fisgusting. The mince is wrong on so many levels but it's hard to put into words exactly what's wrong with it; the weird, slimy texture, or the downright strange aftertaste which smacks of not quite industrial effluent, not quite dog poop but somewhere in between.

So what do you think? have you tried this? What shall I try next?

Grants Minced Beef and Onion Bolognese, serves no one:

3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1 tin Grants Minced Beef and Onion (if you can't find, just use cat food)

5 Cherry Tomatoes

1 tspn chilli sauce, soy sauce

2 tspn lemon juice


Soften garlic in pan, stir in cat food or Grants Minced Beef and Onion, add lemon, soy, chilli, tomatoes, reduce down on medium heat for 5 minutes. Serve with slightly al dente pasta, throw in bin


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