Call me old fashioned but I do love a cheesy, romantic movie. Even those that don't always have the conventional, 'happy ever after' ending. There was 500 Days of Summer, where boy doesn't win back the girl of his dreams; she marries someone else. My Best Friend's Wedding where girl confesses her true feelings to her best friend before his wedding but he still goes ahead and gets married anyway (ok, you can spot a theme here!) but one of my favourite classics has to be the The Bridges of Madison County starring Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. The tale of an illicit romance between a lonely, housewife and mother and an enigmatic, travelling photographer that inevitably ends in moral dilemmas and missed opportunities. And despite embarking on their separate lives, their forbidden love stood the test of time until their dying day. After watching that film (with a box of Kleenex) it got me wondering if there really was such a concept of the "one that got away"?
We all have one. You know "that" one person in your life who you were utterly besotted with but for some reason missed the boat. The one that still holds a special place in your heart whether you are content in a relationship or happily married with 2.4 children. The one who lingers in your mind now and again, making you ponder on the "what if's." Then that secret desire that by some miraculous twist of fate, you will one day be thrust together and realise it was truly meant to be. Well, at least that's what happens in the movies! But surely, there must have been a reason why they 'got away' in the first place? Is this just a romanticised concept? Or is it just fate's way of saying it wasn't meant to be after all!
In a recent survey, 44% of women said they had regrets about ex-partners compared with 20% of men. That's no surprise since women are more likely to be emotionally tied in one way or another to their former loves. Women also believe that they can still be amicable with their exes even after they have "moved on", which is often asking for trouble! So, I guess it is inevitable when nostalgia coupled with some turbulent times in love would make one harp back to their 'one that got away'. What does he look like now? Is he married? Does he ever think of me? In reality, it wouldn't make much of a difference but at least you can take comfort in the memories. But would it really be a path you would choose to re-visit? For those who harbour regrets, ask yourself what did you do about it? Because I am certain if things were meant to be, then it would have happened long ago!
I am a firm believer in no regrets and that fate ensures everything happens for a good purpose. Falling in and out of love (albeit with the wrong people) is no different. People enter your life for a reason and a season so why does it matter if it's not for a lifetime? What counts is that it 'matters' all the same.
Ok, so it's hardly the textbook, fairytale ending one would wish for but it does count as a significant chapter. I'm glad romantic movies with sad endings exist as they show the complexities of love which is far removed from the idealistic version portrayed on the big screen. And while we all aspire to have our 'happy ending' who is to say that it isn't? The 'one that got away' may have got away because it simply had its time. You see, the problem with trying to replicate the fantasy is that more often, it doesn't always live up to our heightened expectations. There is something about the forbidden that makes it more desirable and what we imagine to be the 'perfect' romance could be far from reality. So, if you are deliberating to accept the 'friend request' from your 'one that got away' or whether to drop them an amicable 'how is life?' text message, just remember that the 'happy ever after' endings in the movies are never guaranteed! Some things are simply best left as they are.