20/05/2013 11:51 BST | Updated 19/07/2013 06:12 BST

Why Are All the Nice Guys Given No Love?


Pepa, one half of the 90's rap duo, Salt n Pepa, revealed a few years ago that she once dated Will Smith back in the day. And that the only reason that she didn't pursue anything further was because he was too nice and wasn't thug enough! Considering that the 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air' actor went on to become one of the biggest names in Hollywood and is happily married to Jada Pinkett, she has a lot to regret! In the interview she stated, " I thought Will was really cute and we would hang out a lot on the road. He liked to take care of me and never let me spend a dime. He was that kind of guy, real generous. I sometimes kick myself when I think about what could have been. I guess I couldn't appreciate a nice guy like Will Smith. He wasn't thug enough. I was attracted to thugs and hoodlums." In other words, 'damn, I missed the boat!'

Quite frankly, if "thugs and hoodlums" are what you are after then that's what you'll get! There is no use pining over what could have been after a fair share of man trouble. (Allegedly, her ex-husband, gangster rapper Treach used to abuse her.) But this very sentiment is echoed by a lot of women who opt for the exciting and spontaneous 'bad-boy', yet complain each time that there are no decent men. And actually, they should have stuck with that rather geeky Mr Nice Guy after all. Hello? It's hardly rocket-science. Surely, you would have guessed by now if the guy was up to no good from the fact that he has multiple children (that he knows of). Or seen it coming when his phone would consistently ring off the hook when his female "friends" would call. The reality is, more excitement equals more drama.

And how can a man be "too nice"? When women moan about the nice guys yet in the same breath, complain about the, "good for nothing so- and -so's", it isn't any wonder then, why they are not getting anywhere! Maybe those ladies need to look at their own decision-making when it comes to choosing their suitors. How many times, have you turned down the geeky-looking, shy guy in favour of the brazen, tattoo-laden, biker? Or how many times have we complained to our girlfriends that the guy's puppy-dog like devotion is, "suffocating me!" or he wasn't "man enough". When are we ever going to learn that if you're attracted to the 'bad-boy' type then that is inevitably what you will get in the future.

So, if what you are looking for is long-term commitment and happiness, perhaps certain women need to stop being so self-righteous and give the nerdy guys a break. Barack Obama once mentioned that he was a geek and didn't think that Michelle would ever be interested in him. We can all bet that Michelle certainly has no regrets! Instead of complaining that there are no decent, single men out there maybe it's time to focus on the attitudes towards the nice ones? Then you will come to the conclusion that it is not Mr Nice Guy who has the problem.