Uptight Crackheads for Decency - Join Today! (for HuffPo Canada)

24/01/2012 11:43 GMT | Updated 24/01/2012 11:43 GMT

As an author, activist and crackhead struggling for the emancipation of the drug addicted, I must remain cognizant of how not all addicts are the same. We have different personalities, with as many variations as can be found in the general population.

I have come to realise that in one important respect, the struggle is paradoxical. Those of us fighting for the liberation of the drug addicted consistently challenge political opponents who are moralistic, prejudiced and intolerant. But, as with any other group in society, quite a few drug addicts are themselves moralistic, prejudiced and intolerant. Our critiques of such personalities undoubtedly offend, and thereby alienate, this segment of the drug-addicted community.

Strong political action will have to be inclusive. So despite harsh words I may have had for moral indignation, and all the damned preaching that goes with it, I need to recognize that not all crackheads are the same as I am. Hence I propose the formation of a subset within our larger political struggle: Uptight Crackheads for Decency (UCD).

Sure, it could be a catchall that applies to those addicted to other drugs. However, if members of this faction are too snotty and xenophobic to accept anyone but their own kind, that would be a lifestyle choice we shall be duty bound to honor.

Either way, I foresee a bright future, wherein UCD members could advocate for censorship of offensive films, mandatory dress codes at safe injection sites, mandatory chaperones for sex trade workers, and a spy camera in the bedroom of every Christian couple in order to ensure that they have only the right kind of sex.

When UCD members meet, items on the agenda might include:

___Should decent, wholesome crackheads not only avoid starchy foods, but insist that others do as well?

__Should crackheads advocate for the prohibition of alcohol?

__Should UCD members opposed to premarital sex start a new political party, or simply join the Conservatives?

While the possibilities are endless, here is the point that matters most: if persons addicted to crack are among the most marginalised in today's society, then surely crack addicted megalomaniacs suffer from a dual disorder that really puts them on the fringe.

Regardless of how one may feel about this lifestyle choice, anyone with a social conscience will surely agree that this marginalized group, typically ostracized even within crackhead circles, is perhaps the most marginalized group anywhere.

Their struggle to achieve validation and self-worth will surely have the support of good citizens everywhere.

So I urge you all to shout in solidarity: