They say first impressions last a lifetime. So to heap even more pressure on that opening conversation, someone once came up with the catastrophic idea of the 'chat-up' line.
The idea behind it is simple (much like its creator). All you need to do is drop a killer first line on someone that's caught your eye. Simple!... In theory, yes, this magical one line will turn them into putty in your hands. In reality, not so much! They might remember you but it's probably not going to be for the reason you want.
The actual reaction to a chat-up line is more likely to portray you as something far from your real self and to be blunt, a bit of a dick. From a female perspective, I don't know one girl that's ever been swept off her feet having been fed one, or a guy who's actually got further than a deep and meaningful one night stand having delivered one to their chosen victim. Can you imagine employing this tactic in other first impression scenarios like a job interview?
We recently asked http://www.WouldLikeToMeet.me members for the worst chat-up lines they'd ever been dealt and the answers were toe-curling, laugh out loud for all the wrong reasons, and labelled 'fail' by the recipient.
I'd be selling you short if I didn't tell you the 3 chat-up lines that topped the poll, wouldn't I? If only for research or a damn good laugh so here they are.
3rd - Do you mind if I take your picture? I want to remember your face for my dreams.
2nd - Sorry but I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?
1st - Feel my shirt. It's boyfriend material.
It's fair to say the chat-up line is a dinosaur in the world of both online and real dating. Nearly every member said they'd just rather someone start a conversation with them based on where they are, what they're doing, drinking, or even wearing, than resort to using a well worn, clichéd and 80's chat-up line.
If you struggle to start a conversation with someone you're attracted to, here are some tips to help you out.
1) Be yourself.
Confidence is sexy. Don't be afraid to be yourself. If you pretend to be someone else (e.g. Mr Cocky or Mr Letch) at the beginning of a relationship, this never ends well. Chances are you'll have to carry on pretending to be that person or could even put off the potential date who actually could have been your perfect match. By being yourself, you not only increase your chance of having things in common with a person who you click with but you also increase your chances of meeting someone who likes you for you.
2) Use the environment to help you.
When beginning a conversation in person, the chances are you'll be somewhere where you can draw influence from to start a conversation, be that a bar, gallery, museum or gig. There is always something you can start a conversation about, be it positive or negative, and if delivered in a confident but not cheesy manner you'll get some kind of reply to take inspiration from. You'll know within a few minutes if you're having a conversation or just being given a short reply and can adjust your advance accordingly.
3) Practice Online.
If you struggle to start a conversation in person, maybe you get nervous or struggle to find the right thing to say, try online dating. This will help you to practice beginning conversations with people. You might be lucky and meet the one, but even if you don't, it will increase your confidence to ask people out in person. It's a win, win situation!
Top tip: Everyone who uses online dating is, by definition, open to talking to new people. If you spend a few moments reading their profile you should find some topics of interest to start a conversation about (e.g. favourite bands, films and places).
So next time you want to talk to a gorgeous girl or handsome guy that you have your eyes on, bear this in mind and just be yourself. It'll work wonders and you'll soon wonder why you didn't have the confidence to do it in the first place.