If you’re the parent of a toddler, you’ll recognise these bids for independence. It’s why being a parent of toddler is so much fun - and can be a little frustrating too!
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There is something so brilliantly intriguing about putting something through a hole and it just, well, disappearing. Forever. So, if they can’t reach the letter box to post valuable items from the inside of your house to the outside of your house (car keys for example), they will definitely settle for your credit cards and a gap between the floorboards.
Yes, they’ve been told time and time again that if they hang on them the whole pole will fall off the wall... but they don’t believe you, they think you’re just being mean.
It’s frustrating for them that something which looks like glue is only ever dispatched in tiny, pea-sized amounts – and disappears in their mouth.
Simply because ever since they have been able to move, they’ve been told not to touch it, or indeed go anywhere near it. They don’t just want to touch it though, do they? No, actually they want to clean the floor, and the walls, and the bath with it.
It’s something they have been thinking about for AGES. Leave a pair of craft scissors unattended at any point, even the non-pointy ones, and you’ll find your child 15 minutes later, hiding behind the sofa, sitting on tufts.
Yes, they have their own paper, but it’s just not the same. They might do one or two pictures on their own pad, but in your diary? They really want to do a picture and ‘writing’ on every last page. Just for you.
Warnings about the dangers of wheeled toys at the top of a staircase fall on deaf ears when all they can focus on is HOW FAST THEY COULD GO DOWN!
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They might not even drink squash as a general rule, but they have a very strong suspicion that neat squash is amazingly delicious. First chance they get, they’ll grab themselves a cup/bowl/vase, fill it with neat squash and hide somewhere, grimacing as they persevere and force it down (because, surprisingly enough, it’s actually quite foul).
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This usually results in having a proper person on the other end – even if they are saying “HELLO? HELLO? WHO IS THIS? PUT THE PHONE DOWN!” or, alternatively “Emergency services, which service do you require?” They’ll never give up.
When they try, and fail, they’ll really want to make the cat wear a doll’s outfit. When they try this, and fail again, they’ll really want to decorate the cat with very sticky stickers. Bingo!