Not sure if you know this but Game of Thrones is back on the telly. You wouldn’t think it, because there’s hardly been any fuss around it ... unless you count the absolutely massive commotion around the start of season eight.
That commotion also includes companies devising all kinds of weird – and occasionally wonderful – GoT-related products.
Whether you’re a diehard fan determined to invest in all of the merch, or just curious to see the oddest use of a TV show involving violence and dragons for branding purposes, here’s some of the stuff you can buy.
Dragon Egg, Morrisons, £5
“Dragon Eggs are coming,” reads the PR email announcing the return of the Game of Thrones-themed chocolate eggs. Meanwhile some poor Morrisons worker (or model posing as a Morrisons worker) has had to don a wig and pose with chocolate eggs clutched to her chest.
The 20cm-high, 240g Dragon Egg is (kings) landing back on shelves. Made from rich Belgian milk chocolate and finished with a dusting of ruby red and gold lustre, it forms part of the supermarket’s The Best range. Happy Easter.
GoT Makeup Palette, Urban Decay, £198
If you want to channel that Mother of Dragons look, or perhaps a bit of Cersei, Urban Decay is about to drop a limited edition Game of Thrones vault collection “inspired by the strong women of the Seven Kingdoms”.
It comes with: an eyeshadow palette, highlight palette, lip and cheek stain, four eye pencils, four lipsticks, and “Jon Snow’s Longclaw eyeshadow brush, and Arya Stark’s Needle eyeshadow brush”. Expect bold colour and to have no money for the rest of the month.
Dragon-Slayer Feast, TGI Fridays, Various Prices
This Dragon-Slayer Feast features dishes inspired by the TV show such as ‘the mighty 30oz Tomahawk Dragon-Slayer Steak’, a bone-in ribeye steak nearly four times the size of a standard steak.
Also on the menu: Dragon Fire Hot Wings which come with a blue cheese dip and the Bucket of Beast Bones (appetising), which is basically ribs and wings served in a medieval-style metal bucket. Robert Baratheon, eat your heart out.
Available in TGI Fridays restaurants.
Dragon Slices, Tesco, £1
Even Mr Kipling is jumping on the bandwagon. Available in all major retailers, the new Dragon Slices will set you back £1 for a pack of six. So far, so good. The cakes consist of an orange and red sponge, topped with a layer of – wait for it – vanilla-flavoured icing. Playing it safe, Kipling. Would Daenerys approve?
White Walker Whisky, Amazon, £34
Of course somebody had to bring a limited edition bottle of booze into the mix and who better than Johnnie Walker? The limited edition bottle (70cl) – inspired by “the most enigmatic and feared characters on the hit show” – is available from Amazon for £34.
GoT Stamps, Royal Mail, £7
Royal Mail is getting in on the GoT hype with a book of 10 stamps featuring characters from houses Stark, Targaryen, Lannister and Tyrell – well they do love a bit of royalty. As with most books of stamps these days, they’ll set you back a surprising amount of cash, but at least you can keep them for years and reminisce about the good old days in 30 years time.
Game of Thrones Trainers, Adidas, £149.95
In what is one of the less aesthetically-pleasing GoT-related creations to grace the planet, these adidas shoes come with red and orange stitching and a scale-effect sole (which kind of looks like polystyrene). The dragon theme is strong. They also come in other colours, and you get to pay £149.95 for the privilege of wearing them.
Buy them here.
Hodor Door Stop, Primark, £4
Spoiler alert: We were all shocked to find out Hodor’s name originated from him saying ‘Hold the door’ when he had a seizure (the reason for said seizure is complicated, so you’ll have to read up on that elsewhere). Of course, Primark is now selling a doorstop named after the gentle giant.
Buy it in Primark stores.
Winterfell Leather Jacket, John Varvatos, £2,218
With winter coming (a running theme for seven seasons), menswear company John Varvatos has decided to get on board with that GoT life (and make some money) by crafting a Winterfell leather jacket. The item “has been hand-burnished and distressed for a true Northern feel” and the interior lining comes with an illustrated interpretation of the Iron Throne signature. It’s only £2,218 so what are you waiting for?
But it here.
We all work hard to earn our money – so it shouldn’t feel like hard work to spend it well. At HuffPost Finds we’ll help you find the best stuff that deserves your cash, from the ultimate lipstick to a durable iron to replace the one that broke (RIP). All our choices are completely independent but we may earn a small commission if you click a link and make a purchase.