Ah, periods. Between the mood swings, the mess, and the cramping, nothing convinces me that Mother Nature has some internalised sexism issues more than that time of the month.
But one element of menstrual misery that’s less often discussed is bum cramps – the short, white-hot shooting pain some people get in their rectum during their period.
So, I thought I’d investigate how common this issue is, and why it happens. And it turns out that if, like me, you also suffer from bum-based brutality while you’re riding the red wave, you’re far from alone.
In fact, the issue even has a name – proctalgia fugux – that refers to the short, sharp agony of bum cramp.
So... what’s going on down there?
As Dr Karan Raj explains, the problem arises because of a chemical called prostaglandin.
This hormone is also responsible for causing the uterus to contract, helping to evacuate your uterine lining during your period – basically, it’s a cramp chemical.
And when your body is producing loads of the stuff (such as when you’re on your period), it makes sense that prostaglandins affect places they shouldn’t, like your thighs, your back, and yes, even your bum.
As Dr. Karan says, the short, stabbing pain can feel like lightning bolts – not exactly what you need when you’re already going through period woes.
Okay. So... is there anything I can do about this?
Dr. Karan Raj says that while there isn’t much you can do about your prostaglandin production, you can help to increase the blood flow to your buttocks, limiting the cramping power of the chemical.
Suggestions include taking a warm bath, using creams like glyceryl trinitrate or diltiazem cream, or doing yoga positions like the downward dog to stretch the muscle.
On top of that, some people use an inhaler to relax the muscles, while chronic sufferers can sometimes be offered a nerve-relaxing injection.
So basically, this all confirms what lots of us knew already – periods are, literally and figuratively, a massive pain in the ass.