These Are The Gross Things Couples Do When They're Alone Together

'We're heavily involved in the size of our poops.'

With great love comes great grossness.

Couples on Reddit have been sharing the most disgusting things they do together and they’re enough to make us consider a life of celibacy.

If you think you and your beau are grim, these guys take things to a whole new level.

“She insists when I clean my ears that I show it to her. The more wax I have on the end of the Q-tip the better she likes it. Then of course she insists on showing me what she gets when she cleans her ears. It is a tad bizarre.”

“One time my SO [significant other] and I had a grossest couple snapchat battle. Us and one other couple tried to top each other. We won by him ‘baby bird feeding’ me some pie.”

“I passed out when I had diarrhoea. My husband came in and wiped my mud butt and helped me get up.”

“Scratch our bits and hold our fingers in front of each other’s faces. She goes to lick my fingers every time now. I married her.”

“He uses my toothbrush sometimes.”

“Couples who pop zits together stay together.”

“I farted once so badly she nearly threw up. Both of us look at this as a significant accomplishment in our early relationship.”

“I once popped a really infected ingrown hair that was right up in my girlfriend’s crotch. That was equally unpleasant for both of us.”

“Sword fights with our pee. She has developed surprising hip dexterity from our battles.”

“We chill in the bathroom together when the other person is taking a shit so we don’t have to stop mid-conversation. One time she peed in the shower and I cupped it in my hand and splashed it on her.”

“I check his belly button for lint before he showers. I’m super proud when it’s big one. I used to put them in a little box, but now I hold them up and have him blow and make a wish on it. When he makes me wish on it, he always asks if I wished for more lint.”

“On two different occasions I’ve asked if he has a tissue or anything to put my gum in. He asked me to put it in his hand and then throws it in his mouth and chews it. Such a selfless man. Thanks baby.”

“He pulls out my ingrown armpit hairs. It’s exactly as disgusting as it sounds.”

“My boyfriend and I put peanut butter on each other’s toes and have the dog lick it off. Way more fun when the recipient isn’t expecting it.”

“We’re heavily involved in the size of our poops. We help inspect each other’s poops thoroughly, kneeling down into the toilet, sometimes reaching in to see how deep down it goes and take photos.”

Bad Relationship Habits