My longer-than-expected disappearance from the Huffington Post has been due to a matter very much beyond my control. Sadly, time and illness caught up with my mother and she sadly passed away in October.
My main memories of her are of a devoted mother. But in her younger days, she was a very different, lively girl. As we are of Irish extraction originally, and in Ireland you celebrate the life, not mourn the death, I thought I'd pay tribute in that way.
As a younger woman, Mum was far more outgoing than you would ever have realised from speaking to her in her later years. Some of the tales I know about her:
•She would play the piano in the local pub. Not something she would ever talk about in later years.
•She was also very liberal minded as a young woman. Her playing the piano led to her becoming friends with a group of young gay men, who were very much of the Quentin Crisp, heavy make-up and be proud of their lifestyle variety. In the early days of Dad courting Mum, he took her to a dance at the Hammersmith Palais. They were sitting at a table at dance floor level, chatting. Above them, said group of 20 heavily made-up young men heard her voice, leaned over the balcony and screeched "Ooh-ooh! Queenie! ('Queenie' was her nickname)". Apparently the look of bewilderment and horror on Dad's face was something to behold!
•Mum was habitually punctual (something that has carried over to me). I had to laugh when she told me the story of her sister (my Aunt Doll), who is known for not being the best timekeeper on Earth, going out on one of her first dates with her new young man (her husband, my Uncle Ron). Doll was, as usual, running late. So Mum set off down the road to where he was supposed to be waiting, introduced herself and brought him back home!
•My Mum and Doll did not let something as trival as a War get in the way of their going dancing! Even when the air-raid warnings played, they would just hide in shop doorways until they could carry on, on their way!
•Mum was also not afraid of standing up to anyone. I recall the tale of when her Mum (my Nan) had prepared dinner, but Grandad (her Dad) was nowhere to be seen. So Mum put on her coat and stormed down to Grandad's regular local. As he saw her march through the door, he said "Hello Girl, what do you want?" to which she replied "Same as you!" I understand this shook him rigid, he left his pint on the bar, put on his coat and went straight home!
•The above was repeated when she became a mother herself. I can recall her semi-regular appearances at my school because of some slight (sometimes genuine, sometimes something that could have been left alone to go of it's own accord), defending my position or making sure the teacher knew what was going on and what she expected him to do about it!
•She wasn't keen on change though. Dad once told me an exasperated tale of when he bought a refrigerator for the first time. The conversation went something like: Mum "What is that?" Dad "It is a fridge." Mum "Why do we want that?" Dad "So we can store food." Mum "We can buy it fresh!" Anything to avoid using the new thing she really didn't understand.
•The above tale covers a multitude of other sins. Once, we cooked for her. And made the mistake of serving up Beef Stroganoff, with rice... and told her what it was called! In Mum's world, rice was something you boiled with milk for pudding and 'Stroganoff' wasn't an English word, so something to be unsure about. So she pushed it around the plate for a while, barely touching it. So, some time later, we made it again. But this time, we called it "Beef Casserole" and served it up with mashed potatoes. She cleared the plate!
•Despite being very defensive about her children, she did once manage to forget me! I am led to understand that as a very small child, she once left me outside the butcher's shop! Rushing back to the shop, she found me quite happily sitting there with the butcher, who said "Hello Mrs Pickett, he has been good as gold, he's been sitting with me while we waited for you to finish your shopping"! I'm sure this is where my love of meat comes from!
•Mum did have her fair share of drama. During the War, she had a near miss from one of Hitler's V-devices . There were health scares later in life. She would do anything she could to avoid going to hospital; so when she called them of her own accord, you knew something was really wrong.
•She was always incredibly proud of her children's achievements. When I passed my motorcycle test, I rode over to her house to tell her the news. I told her by asking if I could borrow a screwdriver. "For what?" she replied. When I told her to take off my 'L' plates, I still remember warmly the beaming smile of pride on her face - despite my not being sure she ever wanted me to ride a motorcycle in the first place!
•We weren't supposed to spend our money on her. One year, knowing that both Mum and Dad could do with new Winter coats, I spotted some good ones in a sale. So I bought them and had them delivered to their house on Christmas Eve. On reaching their house for Christmas, I had to endure a lecture on how I wasn't supposed to spend so much money on them and how I couldn't afford it. So I had to rush out, on Christmas Eve mind, to buy a couple of Wizard ornaments (for exactly the same price, mind!). These were deemed acceptable, as in her mind ornaments would be cheap but coats would be expensive! Looking round the house over the last few days, I found the wizards, who have now come to live with myself and my wife Laura at home to accompany our collection of Pocket Dragons.
Sleep well Mum, you deserve the rest.