Thankfully, she’s recently made a return to our screens in her own Channel 5 documentary, ‘Cruising With Jane McDonald’, which has reminded us of what a larger than life character she is.
And by larger than life, we mean camp. Ridiculously camp.
Let’s look at the evidence...
1. THE WAVE
2. She lives with her mother, who she refers to as Queen Jean
3. Her version of Wham’s ‘Club Tropicana’ makes us want to sip on Woo Woos with her by the pool
4. She loves nothing more than a good innuendo
5. Seriously, she could give Mel and Sue a run for their money
6. She is hates it when she can’t be glamorous
7. Well, why wouldn’t she want to dress up, when this is the calibre of her stage attire?
8. She gives SOLID fashion advice to others too
9. She’s also the only person we know who still shops in catalogues
10. She really, REALLY loves cruising
11. We look back with great fondness at the times when she was allowed to sing on ‘Loose Women’
12. Jane Moore, Kaye Adams and co. could never
13. This is her attitude to rumpy-pumpy
Getting old is sad and I hate it. Ed said to me the other day, ‘Come upstairs and make love to me’. 'At my age!' I told him, 'Pick one, because I can’t do both’. Jane McDonald
14. That said, there’s a lot of life left in those hips yet
15. We now know she’s got a very weak gag reflex
16. Only the best goose down will do for our Jane
17. Remember the time she posed with drag queens at G-A-Y (and fitted right in)?
18. She covered ‘Dance Yourself Dizzy’, and somehow made it even more ridiculous than the original
19. She dances like your mum after a few wines at a wedding
20. Only Jane would sing a whole rendition of ‘Amazing Grace’ while sailing through a cave because of its ‘good acoustics’
21. Even if she retreated from the spotlight, she would still be living her best life
I hope people love my new album, but, at the end of the day, if it doesn't work out I could just go back home to Yorkshire and get a job on the tills at Marks & Spencer. Jane McDonald