A mum and former paramedic has divided the internet after revealing she sends a text message to family members and friends ahead of her baby’s birth, laying down some important ground rules around visiting her newborn.
In an Instagram post called “my newborn rules”, Nikki Jurcutz – who runs the popular Instagram account Tiny Hearts – shared a list of the things she will be telling visitors before their baby’s arrival next month.
Some of the points on the list included “no kissing baby please” and “if you’re sick, stay away”. Anyone who hasn’t had a whooping cough vaccine isn’t allowed to see the baby before she turns six weeks.
There are a number of reasons why people are advised against kissing young babies – from the risk of passing on infections like RSV to triggering allergic reactions or even transferring cold sores (which can prove fatal in some cases).
In the reel, which has over 14,000 likes, Jurcutz – an expert in baby and child first aid – also urged relatives and friends to not show up unannounced and, if visiting, to wash their hands before holding her baby.
Other rules included “give me my baby back if she’s crying” and “please don’t post pics without asking”.
Visitors are also encouraged to not wear perfume or strong smelling scents, to always ask before changing the baby’s nappy, and to hold back on the opinions.
She acknowledged that having these conversations can be “really uncomfortable” once the baby has arrived, which is why she sends the text message before the birth.
And while she received a lot of support from fellow mums, there were also a few who were outraged by the 10-point list.
One person wrote: “Whilst I might agree with some of those comments, I’d tell you exactly where to go if you sent that dictatorial text to me. Good luck with how that one gets received...”
Another said: “Enough with this nonsense already. Kids need a village around them. Mum needs support and [to] not be isolated. We have more rules now but in fact have more problems and illnesses then ever.
“I would be horrified reading these if I were your family members. I can guarantee you will need your family/friends one day.”
But there were also plenty of people who agreed such boundaries were needed and were grateful for the list.
“What a great list! I assumed all this would be common knowledge but I found out with my first born that it wasn’t!” wrote one mum.
Another said: “As someone who’s due within the month, I love lists like this and knowing we aren’t being ‘overprotective’. Keeping our little one safe is high priority and our wishes are important!”
“Family really shat on us for having boundaries, our number one goal was to protect our children and they treated us so disrespectfully because it didn’t align with their ego,” revealed one parent.
Unfortunately, there was a general consensus that while parents wanted to keep their little ones safe, family members would often ignore their wishes.
One parent recalled: “I told every one these things, but sadly I assumed people would get the whooping cough vaccination, but they didn’t and failed to tell me, so make sure you follow up.”
Another added: “I remember requesting no hospital visits the first three days and that was completely ignored.”