In a recent Reddit entry titled “AITA [am I the *sshole] for telling my brother I won’t go to his second wedding unless he pays me and spilling the tea to everyone when that started a fight,” Reddit user u/CounterProper9538 asked whether or not he was in the right to eschew his brother’s new nuptials.
“My brother got married in Jamaica six years ago. It cost me $2,300 to go for the week plus a week off work, unpaid,” he explained.
“Not really a huge deal. I love my brother and I wanted to be there for him. I had a great time and actually met the woman I’m currently dating there at the resort,” he added.
This wedding was six years ago, and now the author’s sister-in-law is pregnant. In order to commemorate the pregnancy, the brother says he wants to renew his vows to her ― in a new ceremony.
“I said that was cool but that I would not be attending,” the post author says. “I’m busy with work and my own life. He said he really wanted me there. I said no. He said it was important to him I be there. I said that I had already attended his wedding once and that was plenty.”
The author then told his brother he’d have to cover his costs for attending if he wanted him there, as they live far apart.
Then, the brother revealed that his first marriage wasn’t real
After the author of the post protested, his brother revealed that his first marriage wasn’t actually a “real” marriage ― “He finally admitted that the first wedding was a sham. They basically got us all out there for a party. I told him to get fucked.”
When the poster’s mother rang him accusing him of being a bad brother for not wanting to attend the second ceremony, the poster said “he was being a narcissist if he thought two weddings were needed.”
“Everyone started dogpiling me about not being there for him. I reminded them that I was his best man at the first wedding. Nope, not good enough,” the poster said.
“I had to be there for this because family. I’m the only one who would have to take a flight for the wedding. I told everyone to leave me alone and actually muted the group to avoid any further discussion.”
Eventually, the poster told his family that he wouldn’t go unless the brother paid not only for his costs but also for his time as best man in the previous wedding. “That just pissed people off,” he said.
The poster then revealed the truth to his family
After a lot of anger directed towards him, the poster decided to share what he’d learned about his brother’s wedding.
“I told the truth. I said that the first wedding wasn’t real. And that my brother was not really married,” he said, adding “he was probably only getting married because our family trust excludes kids born out of wedlock. It’s not a lot of money but it covers a full four-year degree or provides a grant to start a business.”
“A bunch of people had been upset about a destination wedding the first time and lots could not afford to go,” the poster added.
“They felt excluded and made fun of. And now the people who did go are pissed they blew money on a party. And don’t get me started on the gifts.”
A lot of people thought the poster was in the right
Most people decided the author of the post was right to do what he did. “The truth would have come out sooner or later. He needs to have a quiet justice of the peace wedding pronto,” one commenter said.
“Your brother is a huge AH for not taking care of the legal marriage stuff like a grown-up but instead expecting everyone to do it all over again at their own expense,” replied another.
“His wife HAD a ‘real’ wedding even if it was a sham. She had the dress, the guests, the vows, just because there wasn’t a license doesn’t mean it wasn’t a wedding. She doesn’t get to have another one just because they didn’t do it right the first time!” yet another commenter said.
But what do you think?