Hello, I'm James and I am a computer nerd. Well, when I say "nerd", I just mean that I'm fairly capable when it comes to computers. That's the only thing that makes me a nerd! Well, that and the fact that I do A-Level Maths. And that I'm socially inept. And that I dislike all forms of sports. And that I'm bad with women. And wear glasses. And currently sit on the Loreto Lore Editorial Committee for the second year in a row. But that's it! It's just an unjust assumption that people continuously make about me.
You see, it all started with that first problem I solved all those years ago, so long that I don't even remember what that initial problem was. But that's all that it took for me to be branded for life. Okay, now I'm just over-exaggerating. Wait, no I'm not! The countless phones, iPods, laptops, computers, TV's, Xbox's, Nintendo DS's, PS3's and anything remotely electronic have been dropped on my lap over the years, always with a heartfelt and sincere request of "This here isn't working, gone fix it". I have become the regional helpdesk for all things that teachers would confiscate if found on your person in class.
But being a nerd isn't meant to be that bad these days; we seem to rule the world with our websites, computers and software. Even shows like "The Big Bang Theory" has even added a certain new appeal to nerds from those of the opposite gender (girls). Unfortunately none of these girls reside in a 50-mile radius of me. Trust me, I've checked. Several times.
I'm going to let you in on a secret now, something sacred in eyes of nerds and computer people everywhere and that is, we haven't got a clue what were talking about. One word. Google! Any problem at all that's brought to us, we wait and then when we're sure no one's is looking and the problem is fired into Google and we wait with baited breath for the internet to tell us what to do next. Unfortunately, this does not always work because even the great and mighty Internet doesn't know how to fix a phone that's been dropped more times then a ticking suitcase in Heathrow Airport. We just tell the person that we did everything we could but there's only so much that can be done for a phone that missing every key except 3, 5 and *.
The problem with this scheme arose when my reputation as a "nerd" preceded me and I was asked to help in the 2012 Mission Day, particularly the "X Factor", where I was tasked with creating the video at the start showcasing the acts. To do this I was given a digital video camera from the Drama department and 4 weeks. This was one of the times were even Google didn't have the answer. Thankfully after extensive panicking, nervous fits and crying I was able to scramble together a video that was in some way presentable and I somehow managed to uphold my facade as someone who has a clue what they're doing.
So I leave you now with a warning to all who think they might be like me but still have a chance at escape before the world finds out that you can use a computer for more than going on Facebook and staring at dressed-up sloths on the Internet. Never let them know your secret! Pretend that you think you can solve any computer problem by either turning it off and on again or, in extreme cases, by pressing Crtl+Alt+Del repeatedly until something happens. Do this every time and you may be able to stay hidden, but if they ever suspect you grab your inhalers and run! Run for the hills! But, unfortunately, as portrayed in several accurate stereotypes and clichés, we nerds are not known for our physical capabilities and high stamina's. So when we run, they will chase us and we will be caught (or we simply collapse after sprinting several metres) and then we will be forced to fix that person's technological mishaps. It's just the price we nerds have to pay.