Divorce Lawyers Reveal The Common (Yet Sometimes Surprising) Things That Happen When Couples Split

'Many people come in peacefully together.'

It’s well known that Christmas is often followed by a spike in the number of people getting a divorce.

In light of this, one inquisitive Redditor has asked lawyers the question we all secretly want to know the answer to: what’s the one thing clients always think is unique about their divorce, but is actually quite common?

Here’s what respondents had to say...

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“Many people come in peacefully together. It’s not the big standard and it’s not everyone, but it happens way more than you’d expect. Both spouses just want the divorce and to move on.”

“I often receive warnings from clients about how ‘clever’ or ‘smart’ their spouse is and to be careful as to not let them manipulate me.

“I don’t want to be insulting so I just say something like ‘I am a professional, etc’. In reality the other spouse has never been very clever at all. They just had power over my client that they’ve built through long term emotional and psychological abuse.

“The client is usually pretty delighted to finally see their abuser get ripped to shreds in court. Context: family lawyer working with domestic violence survivors.”

“Only the rarest of the rare client can understand how they are super illogical when it comes to their divorce.

“Divorce isn’t rocket surgery, but almost everyone tries to make it that way.”

“When cheating is involved, the client will often bring in mountains of photographs, text message printouts, bank statements showing where cash was withdrawn, etc.

“They need me to understand how awful this is and they want me to go stakeout their soon-to-be-cheating-ex.”

“Most people seem to think they are unique with ‘how much of an asshole their ex is’.”

“There are two main areas I’ve seen people [become] delusional about during divorce: kids and assets.

“With kids, everyone screams about how much of a dick their spouse is and how the kids just absolutely hate that person. Nine times out of 10, the kids just want to move on and get back into a normal routine. They don’t care a whole lot about the faults of each parent.

“With assets, most people don’t realise that being married really is a partnership and that there are ways other than earning income that a spouse contributes to the marital ‘pot’.

“Nearly without fail, the higher-earning spouse is adamant that the court will be shocked by how little their spouse did and how there is no chance in hell their assets are going to be divided 50/50.”

“Male potential clients come to me asking for help getting their child support lowered for all kinds of reasons that make sense to them but nobody else.

“My favourite is when they say they just had another kid with new wife or girlfriend and they expect that means their preexisting child support obligation for that kid who lives 100% with mom should be cut drastically.

“When I tell them it doesn’t really work that way they get bent out of shape.”

“Everyone focuses on child support, but you have no idea how much acrimony is caused by who is taking the cat in the divorce.

“I’ve even heard of parents doing child-style visitation agreements and pet support.”

“That being hostile, stubborn, or argumentative is going to somehow benefit them during the divorce proceedings. The opposite is true.

“Yes, divorce is an emotional process and feelings are always going to be a part of it, but the more willing that the parties are willing to work with each other, the better the outcome will be for everyone involved.”

“They think their divorce is the most important divorce on the planet.

“If you aren’t actively working on their case when they call, they are offended. Unless you are Brad Pitt, I’m not going to be working on your case 24/7 when I have 60 other cases to work on and deadlines to meet.”

“It doesn’t matter how many men, women or members of the animal kingdom your partner was sleeping with, the judge is just there to decide on splitting up of marital assets, child support and alimony.

“Your personal horror stories can be saved for your close circle of friends.”

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