This Is Why You Might Feel Like Crying When You're Angry

Go on, let it all out.
Close up portrait of grieving, crying women in her 50's with eyes closed looking down and hand on chin against blue background
Kelvin Murray via Getty Images
Close up portrait of grieving, crying women in her 50's with eyes closed looking down and hand on chin against blue background

Ever wondered why a good cry often feels so...cathartic?

It’s not just you. There’s actually a reason your bodies need to let it all out every once in while – and it’s not just to flush out the pollen from a particularly pollen-heavy day.

Dr Nicole LePera, psychologist and author, explained in a Twitter thread why you feel the need to cry when “upset or overwhelmed” – and it’s all because your body is physically trying to balance its hormones.

LaPera said while sadness alone can be a cause for leaky eyes, crying is actually connected to your nervous system and your body’s natural impulse to self-regulate, which is why you might tear up even in frustrating, or unlikely, scenarios.

She explained: “When you feel angry, tears will flood to your eyes. Your body needs to release.”

So that’s why, when you’re mid-passionate argument with your other half, you can barely get through your very eloquent sentence without your voice shaking as your shouting turns to helpless burbling.

La Pera said these kind of tears can pop up if you’re in a conflict, being shouting at or blamed for something as well as when you’re overstimulated or overwhelmed emotionally – and that includes high levels of happiness, too.

And there’s a scientific explanation behind all this.

LePera said it comes down to your hormones, like oxytocin – which is usually connected to feelings of happiness, and thought to lower stress and anxiety – and endorphins, that cheerful little group which come out to play during fun activities.

Both of these ease pain, and are brought on by crying.

As the psychologist explained: “Research shows oxytocin and endorphins are in tears.

“Crying is the parasympathetic attempt to bring the body back to homeostasis.”

That means balance between all of the body’s systems, which is why so many people love a good tearjerker movie.

LaPera continued: “Crying is your body’s attempt to get you out of fight or flight.

“This is why after crying we feel relaxed, at ease. Our parasympathetic nervous system has been activated. It has a soothing effect.”

You parasympathetic nervous system kicks in when your body is in the “rest and digest” state. It slows your heart rate, lowers blood pressure and promotes digestion.

LaPera also pointed out that crying can be perceived negatively, with many feeling shame after having a little sob – but that’s hardly healthy.

She added that holding back tears “can keep us in a dysregulated state”.

If you let them out, cortisol (a stress hormone) levels decrease, parasympathetic nervous system activates.

As Harvard Medical School’s Health Blog recommends: “It is important to allow yourself to cry if you feel like it. Make sure to take the time and find a safe space to cry if you need to.”

The website even says that crying can “actually be a sign of healing” for many people – yet more proof that bottling it up is rarely (if ever) a good idea.

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