Woman Asks Husband To Pay Her During Pregnancy And People Are Applauding

Does she have a point?
Should women be paid by their partner during pregnancy?
Dimensions via Getty Images
Should women be paid by their partner during pregnancy?

Women and people with uteruses know all too well the physical and mental cost of pregnancy, as well as the financial.

But one woman has a solution to it – she’s asked her husband to compensate the pregnancy, to the tune of $50,000 (£37,900).

Revealed on Reddit by the husband, the story follows two high-earning individuals who both amass more than $175,000 (£132,811) a year, after tax.

Taken out of the workforce for more than a year, the woman discussed how she would be financially impacted, asking her partner if he could pay her as she has their baby.

And just in case you’re wondering, she isn’t currently pregnant (that he knows of). The couple, who say they are ‘spiritually married’ are not legally so (but say they are essentially married in common law).

They also own their own home and their finances are split 50-50 across bills, savings, investments, home improvements and discretionary spending.

The woman’s work place offers maternity leave for a year, paying 50% of the salary for six months while the rest is unpaid. The latter half, she said, should be paid for by her partner, as well as any additional time off needed.

The man wrote on the thread: “She is asking me to compensate her for that $50,000, in addition to agreeing to split any related but unexpected costs to pregnancy and childbirth. Her stance is that she is doing something for us to start a family but it is not a true 50-50 split if she is expected to take a financial hit for it and I am not, given that our finances are separate.

“She had a printed list of expectations in terms of what she expected financially [and] listed some things that her insurance may not cover.”

The man said he saw the logic in her requests but felt “turned off” by it.

While the husband was mulling over the requests, many others online had a lot to say. Most people said it was totally fair, given the enduring impact of pregnancy on women, which can affect career progression, pension earnings and more.

Many took to Twitter, where the Reddit post was shared, to support the woman’s ask.

She’s putting in black and white terms what hit it actually costs women to have a child while so many women just don’t bring it up and accept it. She is being incredibly upfront and honestly, she is still sacrificing more with the long term damage to her body (literally

— SimplyRas (@simply_rassy) March 3, 2022

Girl needs to get a cohabitation agreement or something, but I'm 100% for this. Reproductive labor is *work*, and the birthing partner should be financially compensated for this.

— Joyeux Noël 🇺🇦 (@Aiyaruk) March 3, 2022

So what I just read is, "My partner will take the physical and career damage in order to bear our child (and the long-term financial consequences arising from those), but I am deeply repulsed and offended that she won't take the short-term financial damage as well."

— Helen Huntingdon (@HelenHuntingdon) March 3, 2022

This woman is single handedly revolutionising the process of parenthood. https://t.co/JGzwiSo7jM

— Law *𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳* Turley (@Treacle_A) March 4, 2022

I think all people who carry babies in their bodies should be financially compensated. https://t.co/Irs7nu1yUc

— Ebony Enchantress in the Rough (@Spillin_The_Tee) March 3, 2022

This makes total sense, because you decided to completely keep your income separate. You are expecting her to be ok with being totally screwed financially to become a mom while you take no financial hit. Pregnancy shouldn't be her burden both physically & financially. Grow up.

— The Lamityville Horror: Awake at 5AM!! (@AnxiousPenman) March 3, 2022

She brought a three ring binder to the "Childbearing Budget Summit"? With all the facts and figures ready and a contingency plan?

I don't know this woman, but I kind of have a little crush on her.

— Kristy M. (@llamalluv) March 3, 2022

Is this more transactional than normal? Well, yeah. That's what happens when you insist on entirely separate finances.

Also? Props to her for thinking about this now, and not later when she's already been screwed over.

— Ayzee, GISH Goblin & Wayward AF (@HalflingDancer) March 3, 2022

This is uncomfortable to us only because the loss women incur when they bear children has never been broken down and expressed in monetary terms at all. But it makes sense that the loss is shared. She made valid points and I think it would be selfish to disagree. 🤷🏾♂️ https://t.co/sslgsHoajg

— Onaitembu Kayilula (@_____Kondja) March 5, 2022

A few pointed out that starting a family is a wholesome, meaningful activity that shouldn’t be turned into a transaction. Others said the woman was essentially asking to be paid to get pregnant.

What are your thoughts?

Close