Woman Complains About £1,300 Ring, Sparks Fierce Debate About Engagement Etiquette

'Talk about being ungrateful.'
John Slater via Getty Images

A woman who took to an online forum to complain about the style and cost of her engagement ring has divided the internet.

The Mumsnet user, who has not been named, took to the platform to ask whether it would be uncouth to ask her fiancé to change the ring as she didn’t particularly like how it looked.

She then explained that she knew her partner - who has a six figure salary - had paid £1,300 for it, adding the price was “a lot less” than she’d expected.

She concluded her argument saying she would have loved to have chosen the ring with her fiancé and asked whether she should share her feelings with him.

The post has received hundreds of comments, with some calling the newly-engaged lady “ungrateful” and “grabby”. Others simply advised that if she’s not happy with the look of the ring, she should ask her fiancé to replace it.

Here’s the post in full:

DP proposed and presented me with the ring he’d chosen – a diamond solitaire in white gold. I was so happy and excited to accept but was disappointed when I first saw the ring. The first word that entered my head was ‘small’. There’s nothing to dislike about the type of ring per se, as a diamond solitaire would have been my choice, but it’s the whole thing - the colour of the gold, the setting, the small stone and relatively chunky shoulders.

His salary is nearing a 6 figure sum and he’s usually very generous. Having seen the receipt I know he paid £1,300 for it – which is a lot less than I would have imagined he would have spent on such a significant piece of jewellery.

He’ll be more disappointed in me for making a fuss over it when, in his eyes, it fits and there’s nothing actually wrong with it rather than being disappointed that I’m not truly happy with it. Someone at work apparently told him that ‘if she makes it all about the ring, then she’s not the girl for you’.

Ideally I would have loved for us to have chosen a ring together and made a special day finding one we both liked. As it’s something I’ll be wearing every day and is such a special piece of jewellery I wanted to really love it and I just don’t.

Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

Some people were pretty shocked by the admission. “Talk about being ungrateful,” one user commented.

Another said they’d be “disappointed” if they asked someone to marry them and all they cared about was the ring. “I mean someone wants to commit the rest of your lives together and you want to make a fuss over a ring?”

One commenter said it seemed like the woman was slating the ring because it’s “not big and flashy enough” rather than because she didn’t like the style.

Another simply wrote: “I think you sound grabby. Why is it about the size of the diamond? He’s making a commitment to you. It doesn’t have to be about money or ‘flashiness’.”

But equally, there were a lot of people who didn’t think her request was totally unreasonable.

“I would prepare to be flamed and called grabby,” one commenter wrote. “But if this is the man you intend to spend the rest of your life with you should be able to have a conversation about this.

“If it can be returned and you can pick something you like better, together, then do that, but I would probably try and stick to his budget or put the extra to it yourself if you choose something more expensive.”

Another added: “There’s no way on Earth I’d allow someone else [to] choose a piece of jewellery for me that I’d potentially be wearing for decades. I wouldn’t even let my partner choose this year’s winter coat.”

One commenter said they didn’t know what she could do about the diamond size, but added: “You are the person who will be wearing the ring and having to look at it all day every day. The cost is not as much of a factor but you must be happy with the look of the ring. Just tell him you are not keen on the setting and you would prefer to choose another ring together.”

What would you do? Share your opinion in the comments below.