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With Friends Like Taylor, Anyone Can Survive Boys in Their Twenties


Naw. Taylor Swift. She had me at Calmly Handling Kanye and Shake It Off, but my girl crush on her has just intensified with the latest pictures of the motherly twenty-five year old offering girlie break up advice to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, baby faced Gigi Hadid (20).

I love these pictures because it's how I spent a decade: play acting at being a grown up, heartbroken, analysing shite. Take the first picture: where Gigi is obviously slagging off Cody Simpson and his habit of leaving empty lager cans by the side of the sofa and not taking her career seriously. Taylor is listening carefully, her expression showing studied understanding-yet-livid-on-your-behalf-but-not-judging-yet concentration. It's the kind of face every girl needs their bestie to pull when her boyfriend is being what referees are at football matches.

Picture 2 is even better. The gloves are off now, and, sod what we just said, we are most definitely judging. The frustrated hand gesture tells us that the boy is feeling the full blast of the blonde. "Look Gigi, men are like elastic bands, sometimes they need to stretch back to their cave and be alone... but he'll ping back. And if he doesn't? It just wasn't meant to be. The spark had gone." Or some such crap. I also love the two older women with back fat, collapsed in the background, with "WTF?!" written all over their faces. Real people in the background of the fake twenty something drama.

I love even more that these pictures have come out on the back of the news that this is not the first time Taylor has played Agony Aunt to the stars. Last week Florence and the Machine's Florence admitted that she too had sought out Taylor for boy advice when she found herself with Lena Durham and Spike Jonze at an impromptu Taylor "pizza party". No, really. "Taylor knows her stuff," Florence admitted to The Sunday Times. I bet they were all wearing pyjamas. And that later in the evening, Florence disappeared downstairs in a gothic nightgown, and started singing Hopelessly Devoted To You whilst looking at her reflection in a pond.

Naw. Taylor. The hot Marj Proops of Nashville. Smart enough to hate your other half with just enough passion to write you a good hit, but not in a flaring nostrils/losing it kind of way that would be totes awks if you decided to take the him back.

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