My interview with a husband age 40, married with three children.
What do you want out of your relationship.
Great sex and regularly, trust, fun, shared goals and morals, laughter, a sense of adventure.
Do you think about other people when you're having sex?
What turns you on generally?
Confidence, independence, someone who 's a great cook. Someone who is kind and cares about family, with a healthy appetite for food and for sex. Someone who is a game for a laugh.
What turns you on in the bedroom?
Confidence, making an effort, new ideas, changing the routine, lingerie, heels, kissing, filthy chat.
What turns you off in the bedroom?
Laziness, expecting everything and doing nothing, farting.
Are you always up for it?
How often do you want sex?
How many times are you satisfied with?
Twice a week is great. That's realistic and do able. My wife is not as up for it as I am but I think that's normal.
Do you miss being single?
Generally no, I wouldn't swap what I have now for that. My family is everything to me. But I enjoyed the thrill of the chase, being flirted with, and one night stands. They were fun.
Do you watch porn?
Yes. Mostly alone about twice a month, and also with my wife occasionally.
Has having children changed your relationship?
Yes, for better and for worse. It's made it stronger. We have a cemented bond and a shared responsibility to love, care and bring up our children as a team. We've been completely exhausted and pushed to our limits more than ever before, and challenged in more ways than we imagined. Our patience has been tested and as a result that has of course, had an effect on our relationship, we've bickered over silly things, and still do. We have less time for each other and less energy, perhaps that's also due to getting older and the fact that we've been together for so long. But I can't imagine a life without children, what we would do with all that time?! More time is a luxury that we both constantly fantasise about, but too much time to would be boring. And we'd have absolutely nothing to talk about.
Has having children changed your sex life?
Yes, during pregnancy and the when we were in the zone of hell ( 0-2 yrs) we had far less than usual, sometimes none for ages. At it's worst it was probably once in three or four months, since then it has varied from once a month to four times a week. There's not room for spontaneity with children. Also as they get older they stay up later, which is not ideal for a quick one on the sofa.
What makes you happy?
A happy healthy family, my children, something to look forward to, love, sex, friends, exercise, beer, a sense of achievement, good food, earning enough money to live comfortably, music, smoking a magic cigarette, sunsets and holidays.