23/01/2012 17:25 GMT | Updated 24/03/2012 05:12 GMT

What He's Really Thinking When You're Naked

What is he really thinking when you're naked? Well, it probably depends on who he is. If he is the ticket collector on the 14.56 to London Paddington, he's probably wondering whether he should notify the police at the next station. If he is your teenage son, he's probably too busy purging his burning eyeballs with vinegar while simultaneously vomiting his dinner all over your freshly vacuumed Ikea carpet to think anything at all.

But of course this speculation is all immaterial, because there is no other he than the boyfriend, or potential boyfriend, of the women's magazine reader. The world revolves around what he wants in bed, what he's (really) thinking, what he likes you to wear...

Anybody who disagrees is sentenced to a night stuck in South Mimms Services with nothing to read but a 2007 copy of Cosmo and the back of a Burger King double cheeseburger wrapper.

Anyway... here's a cartoon.