It was an arresting image - to see the faces of our comedy elite with the coffin of such an iconic figure. An unintended tableau of England's great and talented comedy pioneers - who have shaped the 80s.
And it was weird seeing people you know a bit - only a bit mind - with the coffin of someone who means a lot.
What does meaning and attachment at these time do to us? Is there a possessiveness in grief?
Is there a Leveson ruling that dictates who should be allowed to speak of the deceased? I was asked to comment on Rik's death and I did - instinctively and carefully. With respect to Rik's family. I was interested to hear from other people as well. Recollections are reassuring and connecting.
Or is that the grief talking, and if grief talks what does it say? In my case, I wanted to share that I was connected to the person that was, and wished to process that - but wasn't quite sure how to. It's a heightened time.
I have love, respect and admiration for England's comedy elite - while not being part of that grouping from close quarters. People say 'you must see each other all the time'. And I say 'well I do go round to their houses - not when they're in obviously - that would be stalking'. (Joke)
Coming of age and being a crone - as I am this year- has given the wisdom to know I'm at the end of my Life. Rik dying has highlighted that most adroitly - what happens now is the last phase. Time to claim it, change tack, and not waste a second.
On the day of the funeral I was in a field. I was glad to take the time in this way and send some love out and up and around. Or where it goes.
I have always done my own thing - it took me close to the comedy elite. I am eternally grateful for the jobs Rik, Ade, Jennifer, Dawn and Ben gave to me - these jobs defined me. I loved the times I had with them. I loved them as people as well.
I was in a field and said my Farewell from there. As I expect so many did from wherever they were. We all go to the same place in the end... and those who do the waving off, will go there too...