As a blogger, it should come as no surprise that I have always loved to write ... holiday diaries as a child, snippets of life that were once important from a forgotten time, proposals for a novel, ramblings of ideas, of feelings experienced in notebooks scattered around the house, words on scraps of paper in bottoms of bags, bedside cabinets, random drawers ... filed away for future reference, for elation of reliving forgotten memories ... a truly wonderful reminder of a time that may have been lost if not for the note, the words that bring the memory back to be remembered, contemplated, reflected upon, enjoyed again, experienced ... the written word has a power that the memory sometimes can not emulate, however hard you try.
So, imagine my absolute delight, when cleaning out my closet, in uncovering a diary from 2004 entitled "A memory for my Children." Wow, what a little forgotten gem to have uncovered ... how could I possibly not have remembered this? The children would have only been five, three and one as opposed to their, in comparison, very grown up ages of 16, 14 and 12 years ...
... so, sat amongst the discarded clothes and boxes of shoes ... they could wait ... from an era long forgotten, I turned to the first page ... August 2004 ... now, for anyone who has had the delight of uncovering an old diary you will understand just how magical this is ... I was transformed back to the children being younger ... things I had forgotten that I never would have dreamed I would have forgotten ... little funny sayings from them that I never thought I would not recall ...
... but there it was all in ink for me to enjoy again ... but joy tinged with sadness ... so much time had passed and just so very quickly ... I don't feel as if I have changed but the children are not far from adulthood and whilst I feel ridiculously proud of who they have become I miss their toddler years, watching their little characters form ... but the diary entries give you a chance to relive those times fully ... you literally are transported back to a different time ... it makes your heart swell and dance as the words fly off the page making you laugh, relive, ooh and ahh and just want more ... to be consumed and wrapped within the comfort of those words that you'd forgotten ... your memories, your family, your creation.
... so I read on from August 2004 to September ... more funny anecdotes and then entries about back to school and some fears and trepidations and apparent tears from me as my eldest daughter moved from reception to year 1 ... a recount of my husband asking my then 3 year old daughter whether she would like a hand with something and her beautiful innocent reply of "oh don't worry Daddy I've got hands" ... melting ... a few more entries and then as I turn the page to November 2004 ... a blank page ... and then another ... my heart sank ... no further entries ... three months with a promise of memory recording and then nothing ...
... sadly, I have no recollection of starting the diary and thus no recollection of stopping ... but life must have taken over and whilst that is great in so many respects it saddens me that I was too busy to record so much more ... the short months of forgotten memories can only mean that there must be so many more that I've taken for granted that I will remember ... but chances are I haven't and I won't ... and my heart sinks at that thought ... so, whilst this is a much more reflective post than many of my others ... it was one that I wanted to share to encourage others to take the time to write the memories before it is too late ... not just for ourselves but for our children too ... blogging plays that role of memory recording and in the words of Louise May Alcot 'preserve your memories, keep them well, what you forget, you may never retell' ... just saying.