My time in Asia is rapidly coming to a close. After almost a decade of being away, I am finally returning home to London with my partner. It is somewhat unusual that he, a German, and I, a Brit, met each other halfway across the world, only to come home to set up a family together. I think our time spent in the pressure cooker of being in another culture somehow forged a strong bond between us, because there we were, together in a strange land, trying to find a smidgeon of happiness, peace, ambition, laughter and love so far from home.
It wasn't always easy. My biggest challenge was the lack of nature and open spaces in Jakarta. Being a Portsmouth girl, my happiest memory had always been skiving school and going to the beach with my younger brother in the summer months or walking the South Downs with my parents. In Jakarta, it would take us nearly two hours driving time to get to the nearest strip of sand and sea. I just could not get into the shopping mall and cinema culture. Only last weekend, my partner and I hopefully searched the Internet for a reasonable film to while our Saturday, but ended up at home instead. Fortunately, we enjoy being in each other's company very much or the whole thing between us would have fallen apart, given that there was no escape to 'go tell it to the sea'.
I was terribly homesick in my last years, but in the words of philosopher Martin Buber (b 1878, d 1965), "All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware". For me, the secret destination that I was meant to be, but was unaware of, is in the heart of the Mediana family.
Dr. Achmad Mediana was a doctor practicing in Jakarta when I first met him. In those days, I was newly arrived, the Rule Britannia mentality virulent in me, and I was idealistic and arrogant. On my first day, I demanded to know what pain relief options were available to patients.
"My face," Achmad said with a big, beaming smile. "When patients see my face, they are happy and they forget about pain."
In the years that I worked closely with him, I began to open up and let go. I grew softer and more yielding. In the process, I learned amazing new things that are breathtaking in simplicity yet deeply meaningful.
One of Achmad's favourite sayings (which became a private joke between us) is 'God's assets'. Achmad is remarkably generous with his material possessions, including his money, which he distributes easily to his various charitable projects and sometimes, to his patients. "It's all God's assets, Jacqueline," he would say with that same big, beaming smile.
One day, during one of our many long journeys in the car battling the legendary Jakarta traffic jam, Achmad turned to me and said, "Eh, Jacqueline. When my mother died, I learned one last lesson from her. I learned that however rich you are, you can only take with you the white cloth that your corpse is wrapped in. Your grave is still the same size as everyone else's. The rest is God's assets."
Today, Achmad co-owns a small private hospital. I told my partner about it. My partner laughed as we discussed Achmad's unique take on the world, including when it comes to business. He has four full-time doctors, 32 medical staff and 11 patients, but he is a happy man.
"Eleven, Achmad?" I asked incredulously. "Only eleven?"
"Don't be greedy, Jacqueline," he said, totally unconcerned. "I am happy when my patients are happy."
My dear Dr. Achmad Mediana, this is your legacy. You have shown these two foreigners how to look at values and valuation in a totally different light, and this is what I travelled halfway across the world to learn. Thank you for the years, with much love always.
My partner's blog post on Dr. Achmad Mediana can be found on