It's late, the room is warm and dark, the bed soft, my eyes are closed. I can hear little freckles of rain tapping on the window and the house settling down for the night like an old dog: gentle groans from rheumatic floorboards and the rhythmic breathing of the boiler. In the bowels of the house the dishwasher beeps, another cycle finished, it's been a long day but now everything is done. The oblivion of sleep welcomes me like a long-lost lover.........
'Are you awake?' whispers my wife
'Are you awake?'
'Jay you'll never grow a beard will you?'
'You'll never grow a beard will you?'
'What are you saying to me?'
'A beard. You'll never grow a beard will you?'
'No, I will never grow a beard. Sleeptime now.'
'It's just I had a patient in today who had a beard and it was horrible.'
'Let's talk about beards in the morning okay. Sleeptime.'
'He had really long hair too, he looked like Ciabatta.'
'He looked like Ciabatta.'
'How can a human being possibly resemble Ciabatta?'
'This one did!'
'Italian flatbread ciabatta?'
'No you idiot! Ciabatta - from StarWars'
'That's the one. Anyway don't grow a beard.'
And with that she is asleep, instantly.
Leaving me alone with the night rain, scanning the ether for oblivion, sadly sleep is now in a galaxy far far away........