I've been a Dating Coach for over ten years and singles come to me to help them find a partner. When I work with them I can see many are making the same common mistakes.
Here are the worst ways that singles sabotage their happiness. If any of them resonate with you, I do hope you they make you think about perhaps doing things differently.
Trust me, you aren't going to find anyone sitting at home watching television. But unfortunately so many singles think that love is going to magically find them without them having to do anything.
If you want to meet the partner of your dreams, you are going to have to actually do something about it. Yes, it would be lovely to simply fall in love with someone they way they do in the movies, with your eyes meeting across a crowded ballroom. Unfortunately, that's never going to happen if you don't go to the party to start with. Accept all invitations, try a dating site and let the world know you are single and ready to mingle. Even a little action each day can lead to huge results.
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
There are so many opportunities to meet other singles nowadays. It's not just dating apps like Tinder or Online Dating sites. While these can be great fun, they aren't always right for everyone and you may find yourself getting discouraged.
If you are frustrated by dating "virtually" then try to spend more time in the real world. Sign up for some singles parties or consider hiring a dating agency to search for you.
Pining for your Ex
For some strange reason, some singles think they have to date someone exactly like the last person they were with. That's only because they had established habits and activities with them that became their normal routine.
There's absolutely no point trying to find someone who looks or acts like an ex-partner. While you had a good time, it didn't last for good reason. Enjoy your memories but be open to making new ones with someone completely different.
Taking your Friends Advice
When you are single, all your attached friends suddenly think they are a relationship expert. They'll offer their opinion on what you need to say, how you should act and how to deal with your dates.
The problem with this is that you need to let things happen naturally. You are living your own life so you need to make your own mistakes and go on your own adventures. Good things happen when you start taking little risks.
Do you have a list of 101 deal breakers for your perfect partner? Do you reject people if they don't fit all the criteria? This could be where you've been going wrong all this time.
While it's fine to have a good idea of the type of person you are looking for, you have to be realistic. Do you have similar looks, backgrounds, dreams and attitudes in life?
Don't think too much about what you do and don't want, but be open minded to the new people that come your way. I've found what happens a lot is that you'll be happiest with someone who is a completely different type to the one you expected!
Not Fussy Enough
I've worked with plenty of dating coaching clients who really don't mind who they are dating. For them, being in ANY sort of relationship is better than being on their own. So they'll hook up with anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest.
This can be damaging as being in the wrong relationship means you'll never be ready to get into your ideal one. It's better to be single for a little longer in order to make sure the person you are with is the one you want to spend your life wife.
Not Giving them a Second Chance
If you keep having lots of first dates but never see them again, it could be your own fault. Nobody is going to be themselves the first time you meet. You are both going to be nervous and will naturally try to present the best version of yourselves.
My advice to you is that if get on and there is a chance you might like them then there's absolutely no reason not to meet again. It's only by spending time with someone for a longer period that you'll discover the real them.
This is absolutely the worst sin of all. So many people tell me that they are so fed up with having bad dates or not meeting anyone, that they've simply given up. They've resigned themselves to being single forever. How awful is that?
The truth is that no matter how busy you are, you have to make time and keep going. It might take ten more dates before you meet your future Mr or Miss Right, or it might take twenty-eight. If you stop at twenty-seven you'll never know what might have been.
Please remember that there is someone out there for everyone. You WILL find someone absolutely perfect for you....but you have to help cupid along the way!
For more content of interest to anyone who is single or would like some help with dating, please visit JamesPreece.com