05/09/2014 13:22 BST | Updated 05/11/2014 05:59 GMT

The Men All Women Want

What do women really want? That's a question that I get asked every day by my male dating coaching clients.

It's very confusing for men as they are bombarded with images of well built, muscular men in the media. They are led to believe that they should look the same as them if they want to get women interested in having a relationship. So they are told to buy the latest protein powders, training gizmos and go to the gym five hours a day if they have any chance at all.


This really is complete nonsense. Most people are average, by the very definition of the word and look for someone similar as a partner. Nobody wants to date someone who loves working out more than spending time together.

That's why I was so happy to read about a recent study that was commissioned to mark the DVD and Blu-Ray release of the film "Bad Neighbours" out on Monday, 1,000 women were interviewed to finally reveal what sort of physique they preferred. The fascinating results revealed that 75% of women just want a regular, ab-less guy.

The five celebrities who came out on top were:

1. Mr Darcy Colin Firth (33 per cent)

2. Take That's Robbie Williams (20 per cent)

3. The Wolf of Wall Street's Leonardo DiCaprio (18 per cent)

4. Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Brit funny guy James Corden (9 per cent)

5. Bad Neighbour's very own Seth Rogen (4 per cent)


As a Dating Expert, this really does back up what I tell everyone. Personality, intelligence, loyalty and a great sense of humour are the qualities that women are ultimately looking for. I know this because my female clients tell me this time and time again. They want a man who can make them laugh and fell like they are the most important person in the world. It's common sense: If you are in a relationship, you have to spend an awful lot of time with your partner so there has to be more than a rock hard body.

If you are a man with a few softer areas, then there's no need to be embarrassed about it. In fact, women would The "Bad Neighbours" study also showed that 74% of women are self-conscious about taking their clothes off in front of a man. If you look too good they will feel they can't compete and there's no chance of a happy future.

My advice to single men is to brush up on your charm and conversation skills before you burst a blood vessel lifting weights that are too heavy. These are the personality traits most associated with Colin Firth as Mr Darcy, which enhance his romantic nature. As Robbie Williams and James Corden prove, cheeky banter and a warm smile will get you much further than abs they can't see through your top anyway.


Keeping fit and well obviously still very important for men too. Women are genetically programmed to choose healthy looking mates as they will make the best fathers. So do make time for the gym and moisturisers. Just make sure you do everything in moderation and you'll be able to get the benefits without too much effort.