Christmas. A time for living, a time for believing. So sang the perennially single Sir Cliff.
But what if we want to get a date?
Getting out there, turning up at all the Christmas parties you can and working that room with the right body language is what you should be doing.
Sound obvious? You'd be surprised how many people shy away from the action. You know who you are. Reading this blog late at night when you could be out. Shame on you. This is the season to say yes to all social opportunities. At least, the legal ones.
(Image Source: Seattle Municipal Archives)
Parties are where it's at. Especially if you've got the chance to do a little mingling in a postcode area that would suit you to find a date. Perhaps this is the office. Or that cool part of town you aspire to move to with Miss or Mr Right.
And turning up isn't enough. Oh no. Competition is rife.
These are my tips to help you.
1. Stand, stand and stand! Sitting is closed off and inherently says 'go away'. Standing means you're ready for action. Think about it, who are you more likely to approach - someone sitting down or someone standing up?
2. Stand at the bar. 'But I already have a drink!' - doesn't matter. We know it's best to stand but you're hardly going to stand in the middle of the room. Standing at the bar is the most natural way to get chatting: 'Gosh, how long have you been waiting here?'... 'It's so busy in here! Better bulk order!'... 'Ooo, what are you drinking? I might have to get one of those instead!'. Variants are, of course, welcome.
3. Be fluid. No, not with your body and not on the dance floor. Move around! If something isn't working for you, mix it up! Go to a different corner, a different room, a different bar even! It's called 'covering ground'!
4. Make eye contact. It's the science of attraction. Locking eyes with someone doesn't just say you're interested; it actually increases attraction! The more eye contact, the more intense the chemistry. It's primal. It's saying hi... but with your eyes.
5. Head up at all times. Let your eyes make a lap of the room and if you like the look of someone, make eye contact. Remember, you're confident, you're approachable and you're getting away! There's nothing more attractive than not being able to have someone... temporarily, anyway.
6. If you're in a group, make eye contact. This cannot be emphasized enough. Eyes aren't just for spotting lookers; they're for communicating with said lookers. You can engage in regular conversation with your friends while flirting on the sly. Remember to get up and circulate - you have to create an opportunity where you can be approached.
7. Use open body language. You know how they say don't face your back to the audience? Same applies. Face the crowd; don't hide behind pillars or extremely tall friends. Fringe out of your face, don't cross your arms and tuck the chunky coat away.
8. Appear to be having a blast! Or better yet, have a blast! When you spend your night fixated on scouting for a member of the opposite sex you become boring. Keep it in mind, sure, but have fun in your own right - don't rely on others to make it a great night. It will only end in disappointment. Better yet, people gravitate to energetic, happy people. If you enjoy yourself, other people will want to join in on the fun! Win-win, really.
9. Stick with it. Keep your Christmas spirit up for the next shindig. Party hop from one to the next. Meet new friends, gather new numbers. Each person you meet is a connector, someone who may not be your future partner but they may well throw dinner parties where your future partner will be.
10. All your festive energy should be channeled between points one to nine - not on internet dating. Tune into my next post to find out why...
In my next post I'm bringing you an exclusive interview with Miss K, a former student who has risen to the ranks of expert dater, now in a serious relationship, all about why she ditched internet dating and learned to flirt. If you want to share a flirting story or a dating disaster in the meantime, tweet me @flirtology, or reach visit my Facebook pagehttps://www.facebook.com/MsFlirtology.