• Is it winning the lottery?
• Being able to wow the judges on The Voice?
• Is it seeing your child married happily with a good job?
I recently delivered a talk on the rise of female entrepreneurship. How women were supporting women to achieve, even though it may difficult to gain funding and they may be juggling caring responsibilities alongside their work.
The next day I had a call from a man who had heard my talk, congratulating me on my entrepreneurial success, but then sharing with me his experience, that year's ago he had a business that was becoming successful and another man who he thought was a friend had sabotaged it all.
Does this sound familiar to you? This story of others not wanting you to be successful is sadly a common one, I have noticed when I attend women's networks, they will often say that other women have been their worst bosses and have held them back, they don't want them to succeed. I have even had an experience of it myself.
I ask you this question: Do you have the strength of character to celebrate others success?
Edgar Albert Guest sums it up in his poem:
CAN you go to another who wins in the fight
And give him a hand-shake that 's true?
Do you find yourself feeling a sense of delight
In the good work another may do?
Or deep in your heart are there envy and hate,
When you see someone getting ahead?
Do you sneer at his luck and rail at your fate?
If you do all your courage has fled.
Success is NOT about pushing others down so that you can feel good, like the one who wins the race by tripping another up.
Success is NOT about forgetting the council estate, where you started, now you live in a big house in the suburbs.
And Success is NOT as some describe it pulling the ladder up, so that no one else can climb up, once you've reached the top.
Success to me is being content and grateful for what you have, while striving for more and most importantly it as about giving, celebrating and making a positive impact in the world.
If you don't want to do it for others, do it for you. Researchers at Harvard University have found that helping others also makes us mentally tougher and physically stronger, and it has a positive chain reaction on those that benefit, leaving them feeling motivated to help others themselves.
So how will you measure your success this year?
• Who could you celebrate?
• Who could you give a hand up to?
• How could you help your community?
We Rise By Lifting Others
This is blog is a thought for the day for I provided for the Nikki Tapper Chatback show on BBC West Midlands 95.6, you can listen to the audio here
Jenny Garrett is the Award Winning Coach and founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy. She's also the author of Rocking Your Role, a how-to guide to success for female breadwinners, Creator of the online coaching programme the Happenista Project and co-founder of Rocking Ur Teens CIC