17/03/2013 09:55 GMT | Updated 14/05/2013 06:12 BST

Travails of a Wannabe Fashion Blogger

These days everyone seems to have a blog where they post photos of what they're wearing. It should be easy to join the scores of fashion bloggers out there. Right?

We all love an outfit post - even if you're thinking: "Uh, oh, dodgyrama... who's going to tell her?" I thought I'd take a quick snap of what I was wearing this morning (why I thought anyone would be interested is another story...) There was a million other things I should be doing (like the grocery shopping and trying to drum up some work) but hang on, this will only take a second...

I started with my new-ish necklace and old sky-blue jeans and boots.


I added my Rag and Bone pink cardy. First of all - how on earth do you take a iPhone photo of yourself into the mirror without it looking like you have Sasquatch hands? Sorry, fuzzy photo alert. This looks like the amount of drugs I had after 26 hours in labour so I could give birth to an 8lb baby. I was trying for colour blocking but it just looks random.


You might wonder why my legs are in this contorted position. I am also trying the Victoria Beckham pose - a three-quarters-on-and-one-leg-way-out-in-front-of-the-other which is supposed to give the illusion of a thigh gap. VB obviously has the real thing.

What about a 'by the beach fireside' look... with my motley white sweater that the dog nibbles on and which has loads of biddy bids (technical term for those wool ball things)? Weird trick of the light but I looked up the duff in this outfit.

Yellow top with sky blue. Beep! - that's a get 'em off buzzer sound. I didn't realise until I took a photo how see-through it was.


Now for the Rip Curl cardy. (I know I'm too old to be wearing surfer brands but I just can't help myself...)


Ok finally! No, it's nothing special don't post that.

All the clothes on the floor. It's already 1.24pm - grocery shopping will have to wait for tomorrow.

The great thing about iPhone pics and Instagram is that it glosses over my scraggy hair and no-make up, hiding what lies beneath... Wish it would hide this mess on the floor of the closet too.