16/08/2011 13:12 BST | Updated 02/10/2011 06:12 BST

Wear I Ate Last Night: At Home

Aside from the spontaneous nausea induced by me writing about what my girlfriend wears each day, there's a vastly more relevant reason why What Katie Wore is the worst fashion blog on the world wide webs: it's not about fashion. Instead, WKW is primarily about which particular ruinous pit my lovely missus quaffed one too many gins in the night before. Or, where I dim summed myself into a Gaviscon flavoured afternoon after an over hasty lunch. Wear I Ate Last Night is an attempt to bring balance to my blogger midi-chlorians. Instead of a fashion blog for foodies, this is a restaurant review blog that documents diners rather than dinners.

Wondering if your City pinstripes will attract the wrong kind of attention in that new Peckham pop-up? We're here for you.

Developed a penchant for the coiffured moustaches of art-school boys but struggling to find a decent pick-up venue north of Stoke Newington? This blog could be the answer.

Tripped, accidentally fallen feet-first into a pair of glue-filled Crocs and need to comfort eat before visiting the hacksaw shop for something that can manage bone? This is the place to locate where in the world the similarly shamefully shod are permitted to trough-down.

From Pall Mall clubs where admittance is denied to any without monocle and bird of prey; to the Wetherspoons of Walthamstow (although probably not), Wear I Ate Last Night will endeavour to report accurately on that which is worn and that which is worn out. Starting with right now...

Where am I? Well - at home actually, trying to think of an idea for a new blog to write for the Huffy P. I'll hit my first proper dining establishment for WIALN's second instalment. What are people wearing there? Well - there's only me in the house at the moment. Nevertheless, I am dressed like an idiot - and not only so that I've got content for my first post. Idiot is a look I regularly go for. My trousers are salmon pink. I'm rocking my blue suede slip-ons with bright yellow tassels and I've incongruously paired these with an off-white linen jacket that I'm almost certainly a bit too fat for. The whole ensemble is nicely rounded off by thick-rimmed Linda Farrow glasses that cost an embarrassment of wedge in Libs and serve no medical condition other than my aforementioned idiocy. Looking through the window at myself chowing down on lunchtime's leftover dim sums, I'd probably guess I made my living as a professional midlife crisis.

So, you may well ask, what right do I have to write about the clothes people wear while they're filling their faces? Well, none really I suppose. Although dressed as I am today you'd at least have no difficulty in recognising me in a crowded dining carriage. Perhaps I'm typing about your super rare selvedge as you order another coffee. Or maybe I'm checking out your Madras as you tuck into your Madras. The next WIALN instalment is imminent. Let me know where I'm eating next...

Last night's venue: Joe's house.

Good for: WiFi signal.

Likely to see: The missus. Me.

Best of the food: (Slightly stale) char siu buns.