29/01/2013 07:02 GMT | Updated 28/03/2013 05:12 GMT

An Exclusive Interview With Rock Legend Rex Twix, as Nobody Else Wanted to Interview Him

A fortnight ago last Thursday week or thereabouts, I spoke to rock icon Rex Twix about his new album 'Pinkety Ponkety,' and why it was so awful.

Rex, why it was so awful?

You what?

Can you tell me about the lyrics - you've said before that you have to wait a long time for the lyrics to come to you.

Yes, my lyricist lives in Egypt and he insists on sending them by post.

So you don't write the lyrics yourself?

No, but I do read them myself. I can't afford to hire a lyric reader these days. Actually, some of the words are mine - 'prism,' 'clock' and 'washboard' for example. Since then two more words have come to me, which I'm hoping to use on the next album. I'm going to combine them all to make what I call a 'word combination.'

How does this album differ from the last one?

Well on the last album we used bass guitar here and there. On this album we only used it here. We didn't want it there. We were trying to create a feeling of musical deactivatatronalisationalism.

What's that?

I've no idea so I don't know if we managed to create it or not.

It's a very dark album.

Yes, we only used dark instruments - black drums, grey guitars. When we saw a yellow piano in the studio we had it removed.

Who by?

Yellow Piano Removers Ltd. They're in the book.

There are some rather unusual sounds on the album, aren't there?

It depends what you mean by 'there are some rather unusual sounds on the album, aren't there?' But on one track I did want the sound of a biscuit tin being thrown off the Eiffel Tower, so we actually built a life-size replica of the Eiffel Tower in the studio and threw a biscuit tin off it.

And that gave you the desired effect?


Some people have said in the past that you're a bit of a contradictory character, would you agree with that?

Definitely not, yes.

Are you difficult to work with, do you think?

Well, you'd have to ask my producer.

He's just killed himself.

I'm sorry to hear that. It means I've got to find another producer.

It has to be said that some of the tracks on the album are difficult to listen to.

Well we recorded some of them over thirty miles away from the studio microphones, so they are almost impossible to hear. But I wanted to experiment with long distance recording. I think of my approach as experimental, with the emphasis on 'mental' and less on 'experi.'

Your voice is sounding better than ever, although previously it's always sounded appalling and now it only sounds bad.

Thank you very much.

I listened to the whole album at the press launch - was it as hard to make as it is to listen to?

The thing is, the more you listen to an album like this, the more you get out of it.

I wish I'd been able to get out of it.

I understand.

Do you have any final words for your fans?

Sorry, what was that?

Do you have any final words for your fans?

Yes - 'porpoise,' 'conglomerate' and 'mahogany.' I might use them on my next album.

If you'd like to find out more about the new album by Rex Twix, we advise you to seek medical help. Rex can occasionally be heard on The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show which can be found here: