23/02/2016 07:11 GMT | Updated 22/02/2017 05:12 GMT

35 Things I Thought I'd Be Doing at 35


So, in a few days I celebrate my 35th birthday. It's not one of the biggest birthdays, but it's a handy midway point between 30 and 40 to sit and reflect on my life and the things I haven't yet achieved. If you'd asked my 25-year-old self what I'd be like in ten years' time I probably would have had a fair stab at describing my actual life - house in the suburbs, couple of kids, some kind of job -but the devil is in the detail, and there are so many things that I'd hoped to be doing by now that I'm just not. So, I give you 35 grown up and sensible things I thought I'd be doing at 35:

1. I thought I'd have invested in some decent make-up by now instead of using blunt eyeliners

2. I thought I'd be using decent make-up remover instead of water and toilet roll

3 I thought I'd be separating my whites and darks in the wash.

4. I thought I'd have a special place in my handbag for my keys and not have to go through the emptying-it-all-out charade on the doorstep every day. But no, it still takes as long to find them as it did a decade ago but no I have a couple of kids commentating as I dump huge piles of stuff onto the garden wall. And they often need a wee.

5. I thought I'd choose shoes for practical reasons

6. I thought I'd understand mortgages

7. I thought I'd have a skincare routine.

8. I thought I'd understand the American Electoral system

9. I thought I'd clean the car regularly

10. And the house

11. And the kids

12. I thought I'd have clean clothes put away in drawers and I wouldn't just snatch clothes from the drier, willing them to dry as I walk to work.

13. I thought I'd know what I wanted to be when I grew up

14. I thought I'd use shoecare

15. I thought I'd descale the kettle more often

16. I thought I'd like the kind of films that win Oscars

17. I thought I'd dismiss all modern music as either tuneless or derivative (Oh wait, I do do this one)

18. I thought I'd be able to drink coffee without a shedload of sugar in it.

19. I thought I'd know how to cook a roast dinner

20. I thought I'd throw away tights that had holes in them, instead of keeping them "just in case"

21. I thought I'd learn how to garden

22. I thought I'd eat my 5-a-day,every day

23. I thought I'd separate my recycling properly and wash it out, instead of just flinging it from afar and hoping for the best

24. I thought I'd like olives

25. I thought I'd be able to shave without cutting myself

26. I thought if I didn't learn to shave properly, I'd at least have reconciled myself to waxing

27. I thought I might be over my dentist phobia by now

28. I thought I'd be able to throw away old handbags as soon as the handles broke and wouldn't have a cupboard full of old handbags, which are themselves full of old receipts and fluffy chewing gum.

29. I thought I'd remember my reusable bags every time I went to Tesco. Dagnam, if the 5p bag charge hasn't made me do it, what will?

30. I thought I'd stop liking Monster Munch and Space Invaders

31. I thought I'd clean the bathroom with something other than baby wipes

32. I thought I'd be responsible when choosing baby names, and not give my son a middle name he won in a bet

33. I thought I'd drink wine that wasn't prefixed by "house"

34. I thought I'd change all our bed sheets every week and not just when a child is sick on them

35. I thought I'd give out all our Christmas Thank You Letters before Easter.

So, that's a lot of things to work on before I consider myself a Proper Grown Up. Ah well, still 5 more years before 40....

This post first appeared on London With a Toddler