"Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home"- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
After the excitement and exhaustion post Christmas and New Year, February is a month of great miracle cure. Could taking care of yourself help you find true love? Could creating a nourishing, balanced lifestyle lead you to your Mr or Ms Right? Could focusing on yourself, how you feel inside and out play a part? Hell, Yes!
Here 's why learning to love yourself will help you find true love.
The more you value and respect yourself, the more others will do too.
It is impossible to entirely evade negativity in the real world (that would be nice though, right?) - but it is an unfortunate reality that we sometimes pile on more than necessary. One way to reduce negative damage is to alleviate those things that we can control.
What are some negative influences in your life that you can cut out? This could include people, TV shows, negative habits, etc.
Are there some things you have done in the past that you're not proud of? Look yourself in the mirror, deep in your eyes, and forgive yourself. Just like in any other relationship, holding onto resentment will damage your relationship in the long run (and sometimes the short run!)
The same goes for your relationship with yourself. If there are a few things on your heart, write a letter to yourself forgiving each of them. Be real, authentic, and honest with yourself.
It is great practice in forgiving others, also.
Make a list (this does not mean jotting your dream partner's attributes!)
You may love a whole slew of things about yourself that you do not even realize. It is time to bring those things to light.
Some topics for you to get started:
What are your favourite things about yourself?
What is your talent?
What are your best qualities?
What are some of the wonderful things you've done in the past to help others?
What are the things that you have achieved, no matter how small?
What are your deepest desires?
Keep your lists handy to review often. You are unique, wonderful and worthy of praise - even from yourself.
Put yourself on your to-do list.
Overcoming barriers to self care can be difficult, especially for women and I see it in my practice all the time. Making time and space for ourselves- and getting over any residual emotional guilt-is critical to our wellbeing and happiness. In the long run, it's better for those we love too. It is time for things to change. Discover your own self care style. Would you prefer a relaxing massage or a lunch date with some friends? It could even be waking up early in the mornings-your "me" time or what my mastermind group calls the "golden hour" to enjoy the quiet till you hear the bathroom door open and shut. Then you know your time's up!
Never forget that you are allowed to pamper yourself on an ongoing basis. And you need to. Be kind to yourself. You are worthy. At all times.
Well, if you don't, who will?
Meditation is a beautiful way to get to know yourself very deeply. This practice will also improve your relationships with others, as you will feel more grounded, peaceful and accepting. Invite yourself on a regular basis to have this warm, deep connection with yourself through meditation. On top of the deep connection, it also is great for lowering stress! Who doesn't need that? Once you know your own self, it's easy to know others.
Try this exercise in self love meditation:
- Find a comfortable place to sit still, and enjoy a few deep breaths as you get comfortable.
- Consciously relax your body as you breathe in and out.
- Focus on your heart as you breathe. Imagine your breaths filling your heart with gratitude and love, and breathe out the negativity that may be residing within.
- Pick a sentence that resonates with you to repeat to yourself as you focus on your heart. My personal favourite is "I adore every part of who I am. I am full of love, inspiration, and gratitude. I deserve happiness and love."
Love what you have got.
Treat your body with respect and appreciation. Focus on what it can do, not what it cannot. Find something to celebrate, not something to criticize. We have to nurture our relationship with our body the same way we would nurture any intimate relationship. It's an ongoing process and one that we work on each day. Ditch the media reports of what's "in" and what's "out"- tall or short, brunette or blonde! They cannot dictate who and what you love. Think about it? Do you love only one type of flower or one type of color or one particular song? No, we all have many moods, many shadings and varied tastes. Learn to train yourself to see and love your body as it is, rather than focusing on what you don't like or perceive as others don't like.
Working out isn't all about shedding those pounds and losing inches.
On top of the incredible release of endorphins that will give you that fantastic natural high, taking care of your body gives you a deep sense of pride and a genuine connection deep within. Your body houses all of your talents, feelings, desires, hopes and dreams - and taking care of your great tool is a fabulous way to love yourself. Besides a radiant, glowing skin and less visceral fat, it will give you greater confidence, better sleep and stronger sex hormones.
Pick some exercise methods you truly enjoy, and commit to them regularly. For that unmistakable va-va voom that you just can't get any other way.
The more positivity and enthusiasm you can build into your life, the healthier, happier and more satisfied you will be. Happiness breeds healthiness and it also breeds love. Do you have any more tips on falling in love with yourself? Do share them below.