I feel compelled to share with you my tools for growth, as they're no good sitting in a box and gathering dust. Coming from a place where my default state was ruled by fear, I'll show you how I managed to turn things around for myself by offering you 10 powerful tips. Remember our birthright is to be happy, so allow yourself to be!
I) Live in the present moment. I realised all my angst and anxiety was due to the fact I was always attached to the outcome of my future, which didn't exist yet and almost all of the time, the fear belief never came into fruition. It was just an old story which reared its ugly head when I felt terrified.
2) When faced with a challenge, I realised I had a choice in how to deal with it. Did I allow it to ruin my whole day or did I choose to see the lesson in it?
3) I became more compassionate towards myself and others. It reminded me that everyone is on their own personal journey and not to judge.
4) I understood, if I wanted to have an amazing relationship with someone, first, I should start by having an amazing relationship with myself. You only attract what you emit. Your internal voice is the navigator and reflects on what you attract into your life externally.
5) I learned to breathe! Sounds simple, yet it's a practice in itself. All my stomach problems like IBS, had manifested as I always felt anxious and my breathing had become shallow. If you breath only from the clavicle, without using the full capacity of your lungs and diaphragm, this means you don't get a fresh supply of oxygen to charge all the cells in the body. Especially around the solar plexus ( your stomach ) which is the seat of your bodies battery and connected to all your emotions. In the end you suffer from low energy, leading to fatigue and eventually disease. An expression I use frequently from a famous monk is ''shallow breathing = shallow thinking''.
6) In a situation which would've normally make me react like an angry hot head, I learned to be still for a moment and ask how the best version of myself would deal with it. The results were incredible. A great example; I remember being in a grocery queue one day where the customer standing behind me was so rude. As I was waiting to pay, I could feel my anger reaching boiling point. I stayed with it for a while, and as difficult as it was, I sent him love and good vibes. After I paid and left, I no longer carried the burden of anger and didn't hold on to someone else's 'stuff'. I felt light and realised it wasn't my 'stuff' to carry in the first place. The anger belonged to him. His energy no longer had power over my mood.
7) I was inspired to do a regular meditation practice everyday, (still do) as well as run courses and workshops ( something I'd never imagined ). This has helped me to connect to myself, others and my surroundings and taught me to listen to the wise words of my intuition who is now my most trusted friend.
8) Everything originates from one's thoughts and our path is determined based on our belief system. As a wise saying goes ''A thought or desire leads to action, which forms a habit, that shapes your character and creates your destiny''.
9) I became mindful about which thoughts I chose to absorb and let in. Every negative thought you have towards yourself gets downloaded in the template of your sub-conscious mind, the conscious mind doesn't argue with the sub-conscious. It beliefs everything it hears. This made me diligent and conscientious by only inviting in positive thoughts and having the awareness to abandon unwanted, negative thoughts which no longer served me.
10) I stopped robbing myself from the small moments of happiness. Those small happy moments gradually increased, until my natural state was more calm and peaceful.
The inner knowledge I gained from being consciously mindful of my thoughts and beliefs was profound. The results far exceeded my expectations. These precious tools are utilised in my daily life. This mindset is a lifestyle and an ongoing journey for ones growth. This discipline worked my mind muscle and taught me to have mastery over it. I was responsible for my own actions and how I reacted towards others.
When you divorce fear and marry courage, your life will transform like magic!
Ladan Soltani - author of 'fabulous fitness at 40' and a dedicated, rebel, angel yogi!