Taking the bins out or feeding the cats is just a mundane duty to most of us, but we all know some people who do these everyday chores and receive wide recognition and rapturous applause. These people are Facebook Famous. They're the winners of the most competitive popularity contest on earth and every aspect of their life is so damn fantastic that it needs to be shared with their legions of adoring friends. But how the hell do these cocky little upstarts do it and how can you achieve similar glorification from your online acquaintances? Well, read on and you will find out how you too can become Facebook Famous...
Like for a Return
For this, you need a provocative profile picture. You will have to hold the camera above you and pout. Make sure you pout. You MUST pout. Maybe expose a bit of flesh too. Girls, show cleavage or a bit of leg. Maybe get your mum to take a photo of you reaching for the tinned mackerel from the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard because your bum looks great when you stretch. Boys, flex those guns and think... What would that bloke off Geordie Shore do? ... and do just that. If you've ever had your picture taken with anyone from a reality show, use that as your profile picture. You want people to know that you 'hang' with these admirable pillars of society. Photoshop the shit out of your acne and tag everyone you know in the picture so you pop up on their wall when they log on. If someone likes yours then you must like theirs. That's what 'like for a return' means.
Give to Receive.
To get likes and comments on your photographs, you must be really fake... I mean nice to everyone. Girls, say something like this "OMG Hun! You look gorge in this pic