So I've dated a few frogs in my time and very much thought several times I'd found 'the one.' And maybe, just maybe, if life's situations like university (meeting other men), external influence (stressy work = no personal life) and peer pressure (yes! even at 30, 'when are you getting married?') hadn't got in the way, I'd be living in wedded bliss, living in a four bedroom semi somewhere idyllic in the UK.
But I'm not. Although I have lived. laughed and loved, a lot. And maybe just maybe, learnt a bit along the way. And can also verify that when it comes to being a guest at your ex's big day, sisters, you have to smile and hold it together like never before. Speaking strictly from experience (I've been to no less than two exes' weddings).
Forget pulling a fast one and shouting 'It's me he'll always love' because loathe them as you may, ladies there are rules.
And like them or not, you have to stand by them more than you once thought you'd stand by your man (like the time you convinced yourself you still fancied him when he was drunk and wet the bed!)
You have been invited to celebrate one of the most important days of two people's lives. So live with it and follow the right rules.
1. Booze. Go steady honey. One shot before the ceremony ONLY. And a mint or two afterwards helps! You don't want his family thinking you're an alkie since the split now do you?
2. A big hat. This is needed to shield any potential water works which may suddenly spring up out of nowhere. (Seriously, this can happen) Think Audrey Hepburn. Even if you feel more like an unconfident Lady Gaga.
3. Tissues. They weren't just created for snotty noses. If the tears do start, try smiling. It's the 'happy emotion' you're clearly caught up in right? Riiiiight? Convince others if not yourself then...
4. Friends. Lean on them (not physically unless totally trollied in which case they should be taking you home) and let them rally round you for a change. Just make sure the other guests don't over hear those toilet conversations about the bride's dress.
5. Your mobile phone. A girls saving grace. Oh yes. Top trick to get out of awkward chats and situations, pretend an urgent text or call's come through.
6. Above all, sexy heels. Whilst you should make sure your outfit is chic and somewhat subtle (don't go for the red dress!) there are no rules on footwear. So feel fab and foxy and flirt with the other guests like hell.
And at the end of the day you'll feel a stronger person, I promise. If not a tad drained the next day! Time to move on darling....